It's Not Them...

So I don't know about ya'll but I've never been told "it's not me, it's you." Well maybe I have... in a very indirect way. Anyways, yesterday after what I thought was just going to be an informational interview with my chef at work, turned out to be a conversation about how I seem inconsistent as to my happiness at work and how I come off across to people. Apparently I have come across as rude and unapproachable quite a few times to those with whom I work. I kept my defenses to myself and just listened to the oppositions arguement as to what he saw going on. It was interesting to have my perception changed to see it. "It" being the bigger picture. After much reflection last night and more today, I've come to realize how much my vision had narrowed the more stressed and frustrated I had become that I hadn't tried to see if I was coming off across as an unapproachable and disrespectful cook. I had allowed my pity parties for one with a side of "wo is me's" cloud my personality and tarnish my positive outlook on life which over time had slowly started to create me into a bitter monster cook at work who, matter-of-factly, wasn't progressing hardly at all.

I came to realize that my negative mindset, frustration-induced "I'm not good enough" and "I can't do this" thoughts has so far made it impossible for me to overcome these obstacles that have constantly been in my way. I don't know how to get over these hurdles and progress forward. What I do know now is that I need to change my outlook, have an attitude adjustment and start believing in my abilities in order to get the things done that are necessary for my job. I need to step up to the plate. I have accepted that it is me. I need to change. I need to find what I can learn from this job and start believing in myself or else nobody else will.