I promise I am in no way venting in this post... I'm just missing a special someone.
There seems to be two seasons for weddings: Summer... and Winter.
Occassionally there'll be weddings in between those two but those are rare and those individuals are quite weird. I've been to two weddings in the past 2 weeks and I have... about 2 or 3 more coming up here soon. Last year was worse though, I got 2 or 3 invitations in the mail a week! Everybody and their brother was getting married. Holy crap! I definitely was missing my boy very much and had a pang of jealousy and a touch bit of resentment to those who were getting married. Don't think I'm a horribly human being, please, because I was truly happy for those getting married and was excited to get their announcements/invitations. However, I couldn't help but looking up and saying quietly why not me?! Am I broken? Am I not worthy of this blessing? Why do I have to wait?? Almost instantaneously, a line from a poem would come to my mind that would help explain to me why:
There seems to be two seasons for weddings: Summer... and Winter.
Occassionally there'll be weddings in between those two but those are rare and those individuals are quite weird. I've been to two weddings in the past 2 weeks and I have... about 2 or 3 more coming up here soon. Last year was worse though, I got 2 or 3 invitations in the mail a week! Everybody and their brother was getting married. Holy crap! I definitely was missing my boy very much and had a pang of jealousy and a touch bit of resentment to those who were getting married. Don't think I'm a horribly human being, please, because I was truly happy for those getting married and was excited to get their announcements/invitations. However, I couldn't help but looking up and saying quietly why not me?! Am I broken? Am I not worthy of this blessing? Why do I have to wait?? Almost instantaneously, a line from a poem would come to my mind that would help explain to me why:
You will never be united with another
Until you are united with me...
I won't read into other's relationships and the reasons for them moving on into a married life before me and why I have to feel like an old maid for so long but I know that when it's nights like these that I need to focus on the time I have to grow and progress into the woman I need to become and be worthy of the blessing of marriage. I also have to remember that I do have a man that I am going to marry, we just had to go through this stage to really appreciate each other and be put to the test. Make sure that our relationship was based upon a lasting friendship that will help us get through the toughest of times when we might not want to see each other's face for a while... I'm not banking on that happening but stranger things have been known to happen.
Once, before TJ left for his mission, he and I were talking about my single status for 19 years of my life and the possible reasons why and what he texted me when I had asked why took my breath away...
“Maybe Heavenly Father was saving you for the one guy who would treat you like the angel you are ”
I think I'll keep this one. He's worth waiting for!
So tis the season for everyone to get married, it's ok. Bring it on. I'll get my own soon. And it will have meant more to me than anything else I have ever wanted because I had to wait, a very loooong time, to get this one thing! The one man who will always make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world
No comments:
Post a Comment