Self Discovery

As I was working by myself this morning for the first hour and a half today, I made a discovery about myself... I am a very routine based invidiual. The outcome of my day depends on them. If my routine is disturbed somehow... my whole day is out of whack. Doesn't mean that I don't adapt to change very well, I do... it just takes some getting used to is all. A roommate of mine had pointed this attribute out to me over a year ago and commented on my morning routine. It is so true though... if she hit snooze one time too many... it threw off my entire morning routine and I would be in a funk for the rest of the day. Pathetic isn't it, to let other people's decisions and actions determine how my day goes. But we all do it whether we realize it or not.

Tonight I was wasting time on Facebook and I just realized that shortly here, I'll have to form and get used to a whole new routine. I've gotten my current one down for now, all I do is work so it isn't too hard (I mean come one... I was juggling 5 things at one point for a good while) but I've been feeling quite stir crazy lately. I have too much time; before all I wanted was some time... just to be able to sit and breathe. Now I have time to sit.... and think... and not know what to do with myself. Soon though, I'll have a new routine, a new thing to adjust to and that, my good people, makes me super excited! I get to have my happiness back! About 2 years ago, I had dreaded the thought of spending 2 years all by my lonesome, without my other half; I'll be quite honest though, you do get into a comfortable routine when your love is far far away for a very long time. It took me about 6 months to be ok with him being gone and finally get into thte swing of things of my life without him. I've never been content though. I always knew something was missing, I wasn't as happy as I am when he's with me. Yet with him being gone, I've had to adjust to a new life and to new things to occupy my time. As the end is drawing closer to his mission, I can't help but think about all the things that will change when he comes home. I am excited for those changes! I can't wait for my boyfriend to be back home and in my arms again! I love him and miss him mucho! Tomorrow is letter day and I'm suuuuuper excited for my letter!!! I'll definitely adapt to this change a lot better than being thrown off my normal groove.