This Is It!

Holy cow! Holy cow! Holy cow!!!

Now I know this isn't THE post ya'll are waiting for... that'll come within this coming weekend... It's slowly but surely hitting me that he is coming home tomorrow.. I'll see him tomorrow and he'll be here!! I can't believe it! It's such a surreal thing to experience, I'm slightly freaking out {in a good way though!}. Lately I've been thinking over the past two years and all that's happened to me to make me who I am today. Just wanted to share with you wonderful people the things on my mind in hopes that it might be of help to some of you in whatever situation you may be in.

I've learned how to live for me and put myself first. My biggest dream was to go to culinary school to launch my path into becoming a chef and you know what... I did it! I finally let go of the path that I was on, which wasn't making me the happiest, and embraced the career I wanted since I could remember!

I grew some tough skin over the past two years, let me tell you. Quite a few people shared with me their "opinions" on my decision to wait for my boyfriend on his mission. I got the classic "arguements" against it and I realize that some were said in my best interest and because they just want me to be happy. In the beginning, I took it all too personal... then I realized I just needed it to roll off my shoulders and keep going with what I felt was right despite what others said. I learned to stand on my own two feet even if I was alone. Over the months and years, I've learned how to filter through everyone's two cents and who I needed to listen to. I'm grateful for everything that I've had to go through to get to be where I am today.

Going into this, I knew waiting was going to be hard... really hard. I never knew how much though. Yet, I never knew how much of a blessing this would be to me. I could never fathom the kind of growth I've experienced over the past two years. Nobody ever told be this side of the story... the ones who make it, the ones who found the two years to be worth it... I never knew. I'm so glad that I've had this time to get to know though, that this can be done!

There were a few time where I wanted to hang up my hat and count my losses. There was just something about that boy and this whole thing that kept me from doing it. I realized that you don't give up when times get tough, you put your head down and get to work. When things get hard... that's when you need to look at your other and figure out if it's worth it. Let me tell you all... it has been more than worth it!

So tomorrow, I'm going to have quite the day. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep in a bit, go to the temple, do some shopping for me and my bro, then go home and work on his Christmas present, then get ready... my heart will be making it's way out of my chest right around then and I'm sure legitmate freaking out shall commence. I get to see my Honey in less than 24 hours! 2 years has been a very long time and I never thought it would ever be over... and yet here we are! My post that I've been waiting to write for a long time! Our Forever After will start to begin soon and I can't wait!

A big thanks to all who have stood by me through all of this. Friends, family, MG's... even those with disparaging comments who have turned around to support me in the end. Those comments never gave me the fire to prove them wrong but just helped me develop into my own person. To learn to think for myself and really know what I truly know. These 2 years have been such a journey and I'm so thankful that I've been able to take it with the man who would stay by my side through thick and thin. He's been such an amazing example to me and I love him with everything I have. He has been worth all the wait and I can't wait to see his amazing face and move forward with us now!

T-minus 22 hours and counting. Stay tuned.

The Lasts

This is a quickie dear stalkers. This is the last week of him gone. I wrote his last letter tonight. This is the last of a lot of things... but I'm quite excited for the beginning of a whole new rounds of firsts and news... it's incredible to think that I'll have to get used to a boyfriend again... that I'll actually have a date on Friday and Saturday nights. That my plans, desires, and wishes will all be following through with now.... the way I've come to look at it is that I'm leaving one way of life in exchange for another. Granted, it's a much better life I'm exchanging for, don't get me wrong; it's just an adjustment of going with the familiar on to something new and spectacular. I'm feeling all sorts of emotions and thinking all kinds of thoughts all at the same time... it can be quite exhausting let me tell you. But I'm grateful for everything that I have been blessed with. I see him in 7 days. At this moment in one week, I'll be in his arms again... seeing him, touching him, and knowing that he's real and does exist after all this time! It's been a wonderful ride and I'd like to leave you lovelies with a poem I wrote almost two years ago about my decision to stick with him through this mission. Enjoy.


Voices (Safe at Sea)

Voices carried in the wind
Are rushing, pounding in.
I am out at sea,
Everyone is trying to save me.
Safely in Poseidon’s net am I found
Yet they all try to come around.

Too many voices inside my mind
Drowning my confidence I had fought to find.
Doubt, question, insecurity cloud up my clear sky
Now make me look at my perfect picture and ask why?
Tis not good fortune to make the Creator question her work
For she followed exactly, her Masters perfect book.

The sea was to liberate me
Free to wait and see
Gain the freedom to say “let it be”
I know I am incomplete
For right now it seems
Night can hold my worst dreams.

Faith, hope, and love
Memories, letters, and songs
Will keep me safe, make sure I hold on.
“Have trust in me,
Doubt not, can you not see?
I will last, I am strong
I will prove faithful, I will not be torn.”

The winds yell out “you cannot know
You are too young and still need to grow.”
To them, time is far
Distance too long to make the bar
If my journey be safe at sea,
Do not save but oh, please, support me.

For while my love be in a different clime
Calm the rushing wind and the boisterous chime
Crowd me not and make me not ashamed
Do not discourage but uplift the unmaimed.
“You’ll make it, ‘tis not a long time,
He told you “our lasting love is true
It is what will see us this journey through.
We both know for certainty
It is you and me for eternity.’”

Special posts to follow in the coming week.

Tonight's Preview

Today marks yet another mini-milestone! 50 days until my Sweetheart is back home! I had a tiny preview of what that night will look like when we are reunited again after 736 days!

To spoil a bit of the story for you all, my Love and I will not be seeing each other for the first time at the airport, at the Stake Center, or even at my house after he has been released. We don't want to see each other until he has been released because honestly... I never want to shake that boy's hand (let's be real...) and it'll give his family time to be with him before he is released and he comes to see me. Our first plan was for him to just come over to my house after he was released and do that whole thing. One day, sometime last year rsmthng... he had sent me a tape and on that tape he had suggested that we meet each other at the temple. I loved that idea and told him so; so that's the new plan of action... meet each other at the temple after he has been released. I will have two of my close friends to distract me that entire day (I asked him not to send me flight plans as I want the time to go by as fast as it can for me to see him as soon as I possibly can) and be there at the temple with me to take pictures of us two so ya'll can see the moment as well. I have to start getting outfit ideas together so I can knock him dead after two years of not seeing his woman. I've got plans that I need to start rolling into action here soon!!! He's coming home!

But to get back to the whole temple topic, tonight I had a preview of just what my night will look like, giving that he is released at night and not the afternoon. I went to the temple tonight to do baptizms for the dead, since I won't be able to go my normal time and saw that the temple already had some lights up!!! I'm sooo stinkin excited! I love the Christmas time when the temple gets all decked out in lights and nativity scenes! It's honestly one of the most beautiful things ever. Aaaaaand with him coming home in December, that means that I will get to see him with Christmas lights in the background! Romantic much??? I love the idea! So here's the preview of what I get to look forward to:

I'm quite excited! I'm ready for my fairytale night!!! Just gotta find my killer outfit now....

Down to the Wire

So I got a bit of traumatic news on Thursday in my latest letter from my Honey. Background story on our communication over the past 21 months: before TJ left on his mission, we talked about if I was going to wait and how we wanted letters to be done. The trend is usually to write once a week. I always told him that I would write him if he wrote me back {he has proven to be such a faithful letter writer! I love it!}. One night while laying in my bed talking to my mom on the phone, I had mentioned how I was going to miss talking to TJ everyday and it was going to be hard for me to write just once a week when we honestly talked all day, every day. I'm not even exaggerating. Then my mom, in her sage wisdom, told me about her letter writing experience while my dad was in the navy. She wrote him everyday and sent the letter off once a week, so he always had a nice big letter to get him through until her next one. She suggested that and I was baffled by "how could I possibly find that much to say... everyday... everyweek... for 2 years?!" I ran that idea by TJ that same night and he said that he LOVED the idea.

I've written him every single day since December 2, 2009. That was until yesterday. Here's the thing. My letters have never been distracting for him and they haven't inhibited me at all in going off and living my life whatsoever, I just tell him everything that goes on with me because he wants to know. In this latest letter though, at a conference that he went to, all of the missionaries were counseled to not handle mail on any other day except p-day. Sooo that means... shorter letters. For both of us.... Not exactly the hugest fan of this right now. Which means that I have to figure out how to do letters for him for the next 3 months. Whether to stick with what I was doing or go with the conventional, once a week letter. However, as I've taken the time to examine this and try to see the blessings of this new restriction, I've come to realize that by having shorter letters... we're really putting in what matters most. What really needs to be said. The kinds of experiences that need to be shared with one another to keep us uplifted and progressing spiritually. We can still say cute things but with the amount that he can read in a short period of time before he can reply to me, I need to put in the important things first. In Primary today, we learned about missionaries and writing them. It's as if someone knew I needed this lesson to figure out what I want to do. The kids colored pictures and asked questions and had a blast. That's when it hit me: we both need to get back to the basics. We need to make our letters about the heart of it all, the sole reason why he's out on his mission and why I'm supporting a missionary. These next 3 months will be so amazing in that we'll both be so focused on just finishing up with a strong ending. This past Friday, he had to sign a "contract" saying that he will do everything he can to finish stronger than he started. This past Thursday, I had it layed out to me just exactly what that meant for him to finish stronger than he started. The first 6 months of his mission was an intense period of spiritual growth for me and it's looking like the last 3 will be the same as well. I am so grateful to have an amazingly obedient missionary, he has been such an amazing example to me of obedience and faith. I have come to believe, over the past 21 months, that he is the only missionary I could've ever waited for. I am so grateful for his example, his love, his dedication, and his spirit. I know exactly what kind of man is coming home to me in just over 3 months. And he is, my wonderful readers, exactly the kind of man I want to be with forever {and ever}

100

What is this?! Is this really happening? I feel like I'm in this dream but I don't want to wake up from it because it's getting to be too good! Please, nobody pinch me! I don't want to be woken up if all of this is just a figment of my imagination!

Today marks exactly 100 days until he is home! Again... I say what?! I've been imagining this day for 635 days and its finally here. What did I do to have this happen? I must've done something right in a past life rsmthng... I'm loving every minute of it though! I can't believe that he'll be home so soon! I was reflecting on all of this today (well... 2 am this morning after work) and I just thought about all that I can do in 100 days. Here is a verrrrry simplified list:

• Hug him
• Talk to him face to face
• Smell him
• Squeeze his face
• Hold his hand
• Go on dates (wooooooo!!!!!)
• Go on car rides with him
• Sit reeeeally close to him on the couch
• Watch movies with him
• Cuddle whilst watching movies
• Make lunch with him
• Look into his eyes just because
• Feel his love and just know
• .... maybe a kiss here and there... maybe
• Go to church with him
• Have Family Home Evening with him and his family
• Be complete once again

100 days seems soooo much more doable than 735 or whtvr. I feel like I'll actually be getting somewhere instead of dreaming of a far off goal in the distant future. After today I'll be in the double digits. After that... every 1o days will be a milestone. I may or may not become increasingly obsessed about the homecoming. If that is the case... I do not apologize. My happiness will be home in 100 days!

Finally!!!

Dont' worry... it's not the finally... but...

Finally!!! My computer hadn't been getting internet for 5 days, so I've had to fall back on my iPod to stay in contact with the world around me (ie Facebook). Quick update as to the happenings of my life.

First of all. Practices started today!! In kitchen practices! It was amazing to see what my partner and I could come up with in 30 minute rounds with seemingly incohesive and random foods. We made it work! It was madness for 30 minutes but once time was called and we placed our plates on to the presentation table... what we had created was at times a little rough around the edges but the flavors and textures were magical and adventurous! I have more practical experience than my partner, I've been cooking a lot longer than he has. He, however, has been competing more than I have. He brings the speed and finesse, I bring the practicality and the knowledge to the table. It's been an amazing experience so far and I'm so incredible grateful to have this opportunity to go to Austria! A little bit of information though that I learned about the pressure of this current situation I have though is that.... last year, my partner and his former teammate he went with to Austria, got ranked SECOND place by .10 of a point. How the flip?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Oh you bet I freaked out and almost got sick when I learned that! I immediately paid my check at the restaurant and went back to work in the library to study. This competition just got that much more real to me... Pressure!!!

Secondly. Yesterday marked a momentous day for me. 9 years ago, yep 9 years ago July 21, 2002, I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints with my little brother! Let me just put a plug in for this for a second. These past 9 years have flown by sooo fast and honestly, I have to actually remember that I'm a convert some days, this all just seems like I was a member my whole life. I'm soooo incredibly grateful for the two missionaries that found my family on a secluded hill in San Diego and visited us every Friday to teach my brother and myself the restored gospel of Jesus Christ! My soul will be eternally indebted to them for their decision to serve a mission and to reactivate my parents as well as bring my brother and I into the church. This gospel has blessed my life tremendously in more ways than I can even comprehend. I love this church, I'm thankful for my testimony, I'm truly truly blessed! I am a Mormon and am dang proud of it!

Coincidentally, the same day as the 9 year anniversary, yesterday also marked only 4 1/2 months left! Yes you got that right folks... he's coming home fast! In yesterday's letter, the significant other expressed his excitement at how fast that very important day is approaching! I'm so incredibly grateful for this experience to have shared with my Honey! He makes me so proud and I'm so happy to have a missionary! If you had told me 4 years ago, that I was going to wait for a missionary, I would've laughed at your face and told you that you were an idiot! I guess I was proven wrong by a Higher Source. Talk about having to sit down and eating some humble pie... this one is a delicious one though! I have to put together his last package within a few weeks for his birthday and it's weird to start getting into the mentality of "this is the last such and such thing I have to buy." Honestly... I think the post office will miss my business a lot and my frequent visits. It's a lifestyle I've gotten used to and to be quite honest... it's weird to think he'll be home... BUT I'll get over that quite quickly I'm sure.

Lastly, I just want to express my appreciation for my fellow MG's (graduated and still in the waiting) that have helped me so much over the past year to get through all that I have! Seeing them get their men back has helped give me hope that I actually stand a chance in doing all of this! It's been an amazing journey and I love and appreciate all of the support, advice, love, excitement, concern, and what have you that these girls have given over the time I've been a part of this Secret Sisterhood. I'm just really grateful and happy and all I can do is express it! My life is wonderful. 'nough said.

They need a Compound-W for this

So... I'm probably the BIGGEST worry wort you'll ever meet... well there are probably bigger ones out there I'm quite sure. But I'm pretty bad. I constantly worry about things that I really have no reason to just to give my mind something to do. It's been a problem since I was 16 and was the main confidant for my parents when they were going through troubles in their marriage. It's terrible for me to say but they're the big reason why I'm so stinkin scared to get married at times. It's gotten to the point where there have been times where I'm ok with never getting married just to keep away from "choosing" the wrong person and messing up the rest of eternity for me. However... I know that's not what I need to be doing. In fact, it's a commandment to be married if/when we do find someone good enough for us. I know that... still scares me from time to time.

Recently there've been blog posts, comments, posts on facebook about married couples splitting up, divorcing, dating people breaking up and knowing about all of this just reignites that consuming fear of "what if," it's debilitating, it's hindering, it's not healthy but I don't know how to stop it. Even though I've had my "answer" and feel good about where the boy and I are at, sometimes something somewhere will ignite the "what if's" and I'm back into a downward spiral of second guessing and self doubting. I have no confidence, or if I do... it's very minimal. It's really frustrating for me to deal with and disheartening because then I begin to wonder if I'm even really doing what the Lord wants me to do in regards to waiting or life in general... or if I'm just righteously ruining my life mucho.

This morning was an especially rough morning where I began to wonder if my doubts were coming from the adversary or if the Lord was trying to get to really look at my relationship and get me to reconsider things. I spent the whole day in mental turmoil, despite the excruciating headache I had for 4 hours, mulling over every little thing that has happened to me over the past 2 years and if I was reading too much into anything. I was pleading in my head for relief of this battle going on and remembered that today was the infamous Letter Day and that gave me something to look forward to. I finally got home after a very long day and immediately grabbed my letter and went into my room. A big portion of his letter was dedicated to faith, hope, and following the Lord's plan for us as a couple and us as individuals. I felt this overwhelming wave of comfort and deep reassurance that this is what I need to be doing at this time. My worries and what if's have disappeared now and I'm still in awe that everything I was worrying about this week (of which my boy knew nothing of may I remind you) was addressed in the letter. I have no idea how this is done really, so perfectly to a "t," it just constantly reminds me that the Lord is in charge and He knows what I need, when I need it, and from whom I need it the most. I'm so grateful for His guidance in my life and for the love He has for me.

Next week marks 4 1/2 months left! I can't believe it's coming so soon!

New and Exciting Things

Many new and exciting things happening here shortly!! First of all, 150 days until I get to see that boy of mine again! I'm getting beyond excited, it's probably really annoying :) Secondly, today I get to start reading the Book of Mormon with that same boy today! By the end of TJ's first month, I was having a hard time missing him and wondering how to keep us growing together so that we would still be on the same page when he came home and one of my lovely roommates, who happened to help me so much during the first 6 months, suggested that we read our scriptures together and talk about what we've learned. This suggestion has helped us grow so much; I ran the idea past TJ and he loved the idea so much and so we ran with it. Our goal was to read all 4 books of the Standard Works during his mission and for the past 17 months we have successfully (and sometimes slowly) trekked our way through the Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price, the Old Testament, and the New Testament. Now, for the last leg of his mission, we get to read the book that is the cornerstone of our religion, the book which he teaches and converts people from. I already have a strong testimony of the truthfulness of this amazing book but I know that there is going to be something special about reading the Book of Mormon with my missionary while he gives his all this special work these last few months. I can't wait to grow even more alongside him and I'm so excited for this little journey!

Yesterday I had fully off of work (a day off on a Friday?! in a restaurant?! whaaa???) and I took full advantage of it! I washed my little car from this HUGE dust storm we had over here, replaced her wipers, and made an amazing dinner for my family and my newly engaged friend and her fiance! I had the hardest time coming up with this dish for a couple of days and finally the day of, I came up with it! Let me just say... I can kinda cook ;)

I made a Moroccan Broiled Salmon with Israeli Pearled Couscous, white corn, butter braised radishes, and seared bok choy. Ummm... yum?! But the family, friend, and fiance all loved it! As my friend and her significant other were eating the dinner, the fiance said that he needed to treat me to ice cream as a form of payment. My argument was I've got 5 months left to try and look ok for my guy when he comes home, I can't be eating ice cream. After about 3 go arounds with us saying the same thing, he finally said "I'll train you for the next 5 months." He's dead serious. So I'm excited, my butt is finally going to get kicked and get in shape! Me= happy!

I need to give a quick shout out to Kendahl, my best MG friend ever! She is getting to reaching her boys year mark in just 5 days and I'm so excited for her! She has been such a positive light to me and I'm so glad to have her! She's always there for support, to listen to, to get excited with, to swap stories and ideas with. She's been such an amazing friend to me for the past 8 months and I'm so lucky to have her in my life! We've become great friends through Facebook, texting, and our weekly Sunday Skype dates! I hope I've told her enough how much I appreciate her love and friendship!

On Thursday, I picked up my last school schedule ever!!!! Well probably not ever, but my last one at this school! It's a bittersweet moment because I'm so excited to get out in the real world and just be totally encompassed by the industry but at the same time... I've had a lot of great memories at school and have met a lot of incredible chefs who have made me who I am today! I get to take my last cooking class at AIPX with the chef who started me off and I'm excited for the butt riding he's going to give me while in class (he knows I'm going to Austria so he's going to be right in my ear the entire 9 weeks of his class). I'm so excited for this last quarter, all that I've been dreaming about for years is starting to wrap up in the next few months and then I get to start my career as a young culinarian. This also means that I get to start the ever amazing eeeearly morning practices for the competition! They start next Wednesday morning at 6 am... all I can say is heaven help me. I'm very very excited for the amazing things coming up in my life these next 3 months, time is going to fly by and I absolutely cannot wait! I may not be posting as much once school and practice starts but at least I'll have cool stories and pictures when I do!

One Hand

Us MG's (missionary girlfriend's) like to refer to "one hand" as 5 MONTHS LEFT! Get it... because you can count the number of months left on 1 hand...

So that's it. One hand. 5 months. 152 days. Left. It's so surreal! It's finally happening... and in 12 hours... I get a lovely letter. Life could not get better right now. Time to start making some welcome home plans and get things underway.

Many Thoughts

So first and foremost of my thoughts going on in my head... TJ has been out for exactly 19 months today!! Holla! I'm so stinkin excited and will possibly be getting even more annoying as time goes on because this means I only have 5 more months until I get to see him again!!!! AHHHHH :) freaking out has now officially begun. Please feel free to freak out with me... only if you would like to!

Another thought quite related to this... Kendahl (my bff MG) and I are obsessed with wedding videos, in particular done by one David Perry. He's based in Salt Lake and we basically stalk his video blog! AHmazing is all I can say! If I would be able to afford it... I'd LOVE for him to do my wedding. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. However... I would love to share the newest video he has up (I secretly love it more because it's in San Diego... and I'm from there!) and the first like... 30 seconds is really all ya'll really need to pay attention to because it just makes me so happy!

http://davidperryfilms.squarespace.com

Anyway.. probably the only time I'll share something like this until I'm engaged. So enjoy it!

More thoughts. Totally unrelated to my personal life... let me just say that I've never been so frustrated with a single job in all of my working career... that is, all six years of it. I come home most nights so frustrated and upset with either myself, the job, the industry, or a wonderful combo of all three. Even after my vent session with my adored mentor one night, sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm being pushed too hard. If people think I'm better and stronger than I really am. Maybe my expectations and those that others have for me are too hard for me to obtain. Too much growth in a short amount of time?? Definitely getting stress marks from all of this. Don't get me wrong, the place I'm at right now is great but there's just always one thing a day that totally throws me off and blows my goals for the day. Sometimes I feel like I'm either being stagnent or even regressing. No forward movement has been made it seems and it's terrible to feel like that's what's really happening.

On top of all of this, it begins to make me worried that maybe I am over my head on going to Austria. Maybe I'm really just going to make a fool of myself when I get over there. The only word I can think of right now that describes the majority of what I'm feeling is: frustration. I just... it can't be this hard, can it? It's just been a super hard week, working the five days; I'm very much ready to have 4 days off this week and do some relaxing things and get my head back into the game before I jump off into the deep end.

Good news is though... only 5 more months until my comfort and serenity comes back and my stress leaves me. An eternity free of stress... best reward ever for 2 years of trial.

Story Time!!!

So I bet a good number of you guys are wondering how did my boy and I come to be? Well... here's the story! I was sending it to a friend and I thought I'd share it with you guys :) enjoy! It's quite long but such a good read if I do say so myself!

My TJ and I met through a mutual friend in high school my senior year. One of my earliest memories of TJ was when our friend, TJ, I, and a few other people went tubing down the Salt River here in AZ and our friend lost her shoes down the river. At the end of the river, we were going to have to climb a steep hill of dirt and gravel to get back to where the buses could pick us up and take us back to the parking lot; the ground was going to be suuuuper hot and I offered our friend to wear my flip flops until we got back to the cars and I’d figure out a way to not get blisters on my feet. TJ instantly offered to carry me, with our two tubes up the hill to where the buses would pick us up and until we got back to the cars. And so he did, he carried me and held me so that my feet didn’t have to touch the burning hot asphalt and so our friend could wear shoes on her feet. However, even after this, I was interested in a different boy at the time, our friend was madly in love with TJ, and TJ was busy dating tons of girls, so I didn’t really even bother showing great interest. However, I do remember thinking he was a cute guy and was really funny and happy all the time. I knew he was different.
6 months after I had graduated from high school, I had my world turned upside down in that short amount of time. I found myself dirt poor, 8 hours away from home at school, no job, no food, and the boy I was very interested in at the time, destroyed my little heart and I sunk into terrible depression. I had to move back home and start all over again. I got a job while I was home and was determined to save up money to go back to Utah for school that fall. In February of 2008, TJ found out that I was back home and quickly got my number from yet, another mutual friend and called me that week to see how I was doing. He invited to go bowling with him and some friends; I was still very much grieving my heartbreak and thought we were just going to be hanging out so I agreed. He picked me up, opened my door, was a gentleman and we were off to the bowling alley. When we got there, I quickly realized this was a group date… and freaked out! But I suppressed it and tried to have a good time. TJ was flirting sooo much (he’s cute!) with me and I with him. I had a great time but when I realized I was flirting with TJ and enjoying the date, I immediately shut down and pushed him away. Poor boy was so confused…
For the next few months, off and on, we would text occasionally but nothing huge. He had another girlfriend and I was still very determined to go back to Utah for school. That summer, we did hang out once and I made him an amazing first dinner, we went on a walk (didn’t hold hands… dang it!), and then went to institute together and had an awesome time. Mind you, he was still dating his then girlfriend… I’m not a home wrecker I promise! We had an awesome conversation as I drove him back home about the Lord’s plan for all of us and the pain I was dealing with. Even though we weren’t together, he still was there for me and helping me cope for all that had happened.
I moved to Utah for school that fall and thought I wouldn’t ever really see him again. However, one day while terribly bored at work, I felt like I should text him (we hadn’t talked in months mind you) and see how he was doing. From then on, texting each other became a bit more regular, every week or so we’d send a text to each other. The last part of October 2008, TJ told me that he got his mission call and I was so excited for him! I would be writing another missionary! As time got closer for me to come home for Christmas break I asked him if he would like to do baptisms with me at the temple before he left for the MTC; he loved the idea and we made a plan to do so. I also found out that he was single (holla!!) and was sort of free game. When I came home for break, I was scheduled to have my wisdom teeth taken out and he told me he was going to go camping a beach in Cali with his best friend one last time before he left but promised he’d go to the temple with me before he left for the MTC. He also asked if he could get me anything from Cali and I said that all I wanted was a jar of sand. A week later, with my gross face packed with gauze, TJ stopped by with a jar of sand from the beach he and his friend stayed at. He also took some paint chips from a nearby wall and stuck them in there and hoped I liked them. That Sunday, I went to his farewell talk at church and couldn’t believe he was leaving. I was the last one to hug him out of the congregation and was starting to like him mucho! He invited me to his Sunday school class and we walked there with our arms behind the others back. We left the church before third hour to go to his house to get setup for the farewell. Sadly… I was beckoned back home and wasn’t able to stay at all for his farewell. Later the next week, we finally went to the temple together to do baptisms and I could not stop smiling the whole time I was with him, I wanted to hold his hand sooo badly.. but he was leaving so I couldn’t. While at the temple, we had so many workers there thinking we were dating or engaged which is hilarious in hindsight. While in the baptistry, we were sitting on opposite sides of the room and one of the workers came over to me and whispered “you can sit with your boyfriend, its ok.” Instead of protesting, I just got up, sat next to TJ and told TJ what was said and he thought it was hilarious. After the temple, I met some of his family and then we went back to my house so I could make him another amazing dinner. When he went to leave, I walked him out to his car, we hugged and he said “I’m going to miss you Marlee Michelle.” I told him I was going to miss him too. Then we said see you in two years! The night before he entered the MTC, he called me and we talked for a few minutes. We told each other we would miss the other and that he’d be an amazing missionary. Before we hung up, he said “Marlee, please promise me that you won’t get married while I’m on my mission.” My little naïve self at the time didn’t know what he was trying to get at and I said you got it! We hung up, I cried a little and thought that was it…
TJ ended up having to come back home for a year to take care of some business and I was the first person he had told he was back. I was in Utah for the Spring semester and had no way of seeing him. So we began texting each other all day, every day for the year he was home and quickly became best friends. Soon after we began texting, he asked if he could begin calling me but never promised to call me every night… yet that’s what he ended up doing from then on. In that phone call he mentioned how he wanted to come up and visit me in Utah. We planned on Spring Break for him to come up that way we could have fun for 4 days instead of 2. I was so stinkin excited to see him and was counting down the days. So in March, he came up for a week to see me and we had so much fun! We watched a ton of movies, went out to eat, went hiking, I learned how to longboard, and he became my first kiss that week. We were both so sad when he had to leave at the end of the week and I started to miss him so much. We had no idea what was going to happen with us, if anything would progress since we were 8 hours away. But we kept texting each other every day and we both began to fall in love with each other.
At the end of the semester, I decided that I needed to move back home in AZ because I couldn’t afford living in Utah anymore. The only problem was that I came to this decision the last day of school and had no way of getting home; he knew of my dilemma and said that if I decided to move back home, to let him know and he’d be there to move me. All he was given was a days notice and he was up in Utah packing up his car with my stuff and moving me back home. The next day, we became an official couple and have been together ever since. We spent almost every day that summer together, we grew more in love with each other, made mistakes, loved each other even more and kept trucking. The Fall of 2009, I moved 2 hours up north for school and he would drive up to see me every Saturday and bring food with him from my mom. We made our relationship work and grew even more together. TJ got his mission call the beginning of November, I felt strongly that I needed to wait for him and that everything would be ok. We went to a fancy institute dance together (we call it our “prom”) soon after and he drove me home for my birthday which also was the last weekend we had together.

We celebrated my birthday by going to the temple, playing dress up at DI, having cake at my house and watching a movie, and then going out to sushi for dinner. The perfect last date for two years. The last time we saw each other, however, was not left on a happy note and I seriously regret it but we quickly made up and were happy that night. TJ’s last day as a “civi” we spent texting each other since I was back at school and we said our goodbye over the phone. He was supposed to be set apart the Sunday before he reported to the MTC but since his mom was out of time, they decided to hold off until the day before he reported. The night he was to be set apart, the time of the setting apart got delayed from 7 at night until 9 that night; that meant we had 3 hours to talk and say goodbye to each other. Before we hung up for the last time, I told TJ “make me proud Sweetheart!” And he replied with “I will work my hardest to deserve you Honey. I love you.” And with a click… that was it. He was off to honorably serve our Lord for 2 of the most amazing years. TJ was set apart as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints of Latter Day Saints on December 1st 2009 at 9:00pm and reported to the MTC on December 2nd 2009 at 11:00am.
Waiting for the love of my life has been the most rewarding experience ever; with all of its ups and downs, it has been so worth it. We have grown even more together and love each other much deeper than we could ever imagine. We only have about 5 months until we are united again and then we can start our eternity together. I love Elder Taylor Jordan Brady with all of my heart and he has made me so incredibly proud! He does deserve me and I can’t wait to be with him again!! It won’t be long.