My Darling Taylor,

We did it!

Yours Forever,

Marlee Michelle

This Is It!

Holy cow! Holy cow! Holy cow!!!

Now I know this isn't THE post ya'll are waiting for... that'll come within this coming weekend... It's slowly but surely hitting me that he is coming home tomorrow.. I'll see him tomorrow and he'll be here!! I can't believe it! It's such a surreal thing to experience, I'm slightly freaking out {in a good way though!}. Lately I've been thinking over the past two years and all that's happened to me to make me who I am today. Just wanted to share with you wonderful people the things on my mind in hopes that it might be of help to some of you in whatever situation you may be in.

I've learned how to live for me and put myself first. My biggest dream was to go to culinary school to launch my path into becoming a chef and you know what... I did it! I finally let go of the path that I was on, which wasn't making me the happiest, and embraced the career I wanted since I could remember!

I grew some tough skin over the past two years, let me tell you. Quite a few people shared with me their "opinions" on my decision to wait for my boyfriend on his mission. I got the classic "arguements" against it and I realize that some were said in my best interest and because they just want me to be happy. In the beginning, I took it all too personal... then I realized I just needed it to roll off my shoulders and keep going with what I felt was right despite what others said. I learned to stand on my own two feet even if I was alone. Over the months and years, I've learned how to filter through everyone's two cents and who I needed to listen to. I'm grateful for everything that I've had to go through to get to be where I am today.

Going into this, I knew waiting was going to be hard... really hard. I never knew how much though. Yet, I never knew how much of a blessing this would be to me. I could never fathom the kind of growth I've experienced over the past two years. Nobody ever told be this side of the story... the ones who make it, the ones who found the two years to be worth it... I never knew. I'm so glad that I've had this time to get to know though, that this can be done!

There were a few time where I wanted to hang up my hat and count my losses. There was just something about that boy and this whole thing that kept me from doing it. I realized that you don't give up when times get tough, you put your head down and get to work. When things get hard... that's when you need to look at your other and figure out if it's worth it. Let me tell you all... it has been more than worth it!

So tomorrow, I'm going to have quite the day. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep in a bit, go to the temple, do some shopping for me and my bro, then go home and work on his Christmas present, then get ready... my heart will be making it's way out of my chest right around then and I'm sure legitmate freaking out shall commence. I get to see my Honey in less than 24 hours! 2 years has been a very long time and I never thought it would ever be over... and yet here we are! My post that I've been waiting to write for a long time! Our Forever After will start to begin soon and I can't wait!

A big thanks to all who have stood by me through all of this. Friends, family, MG's... even those with disparaging comments who have turned around to support me in the end. Those comments never gave me the fire to prove them wrong but just helped me develop into my own person. To learn to think for myself and really know what I truly know. These 2 years have been such a journey and I'm so thankful that I've been able to take it with the man who would stay by my side through thick and thin. He's been such an amazing example to me and I love him with everything I have. He has been worth all the wait and I can't wait to see his amazing face and move forward with us now!

T-minus 22 hours and counting. Stay tuned.

The Lasts

This is a quickie dear stalkers. This is the last week of him gone. I wrote his last letter tonight. This is the last of a lot of things... but I'm quite excited for the beginning of a whole new rounds of firsts and news... it's incredible to think that I'll have to get used to a boyfriend again... that I'll actually have a date on Friday and Saturday nights. That my plans, desires, and wishes will all be following through with now.... the way I've come to look at it is that I'm leaving one way of life in exchange for another. Granted, it's a much better life I'm exchanging for, don't get me wrong; it's just an adjustment of going with the familiar on to something new and spectacular. I'm feeling all sorts of emotions and thinking all kinds of thoughts all at the same time... it can be quite exhausting let me tell you. But I'm grateful for everything that I have been blessed with. I see him in 7 days. At this moment in one week, I'll be in his arms again... seeing him, touching him, and knowing that he's real and does exist after all this time! It's been a wonderful ride and I'd like to leave you lovelies with a poem I wrote almost two years ago about my decision to stick with him through this mission. Enjoy.


Voices (Safe at Sea)

Voices carried in the wind
Are rushing, pounding in.
I am out at sea,
Everyone is trying to save me.
Safely in Poseidon’s net am I found
Yet they all try to come around.

Too many voices inside my mind
Drowning my confidence I had fought to find.
Doubt, question, insecurity cloud up my clear sky
Now make me look at my perfect picture and ask why?
Tis not good fortune to make the Creator question her work
For she followed exactly, her Masters perfect book.

The sea was to liberate me
Free to wait and see
Gain the freedom to say “let it be”
I know I am incomplete
For right now it seems
Night can hold my worst dreams.

Faith, hope, and love
Memories, letters, and songs
Will keep me safe, make sure I hold on.
“Have trust in me,
Doubt not, can you not see?
I will last, I am strong
I will prove faithful, I will not be torn.”

The winds yell out “you cannot know
You are too young and still need to grow.”
To them, time is far
Distance too long to make the bar
If my journey be safe at sea,
Do not save but oh, please, support me.

For while my love be in a different clime
Calm the rushing wind and the boisterous chime
Crowd me not and make me not ashamed
Do not discourage but uplift the unmaimed.
“You’ll make it, ‘tis not a long time,
He told you “our lasting love is true
It is what will see us this journey through.
We both know for certainty
It is you and me for eternity.’”

Special posts to follow in the coming week.

Today Is a Special Day

Not only is today letter day (it's Thursday!!!), but today is the 32 monthiversary of my love and I being together! Carazy!! Who knew you'd have so much fun with someone for 32 straight months! I was telling this to Kendahl today because I had been thinking about it all day today, it's amazing how being with the right person just feels like that's how it's always been, no matter how long you've been with them. For me, it honestly feels like TJ and I have been together our whole lives, when really... in the eternal scheme of things, it's only been moments. I LOVE it!Today also marks 20 days left... Holy. Freakin. Are you serious?! Is this reeeeeallly happening? I would be sooooooo upset if I woke up tomorrow morning from this super realistic dream and had it dawn on me that he had just left the day before. This has honestly popped into my head. However, I can distinguish reality from my vivid imagination luckily!I got the most amazing letter from him today. I just couldn't help but imagine him in my head, like what he really looks like; what his facial expressions where as he wrote this letter. Imagine the thoughts running through his precious head as he tried to tell me the important things in this weeks letter. Sometimes I feel bad for being sooo excited to have him come home when I know hoe much he loves his mission and being a missionary. I know that the other missionaries, mission president, members, and investigators all love him over there and I sometimes I feel like I'm selfish for wanting him home in 20 days. But then I quickly get over it as the next wave of excitement and oh my goodness oh my goodness hits me and I feel like I'm going to go into cardiac arrest at any moment.Some of my fellow MG's are throwing me a "graduation" party this weekend! I love girls nights and I love that sooo many people are excited for me! I'm excited for me too!Honestly though. Today has been a special day and I've been so happy these last few days. I'm enoying this prep time! It's exciting and before I know it, the day will be here and I will be on a respirator trying to keep myself alive. I just need to get my hair did (finally) and grab a few things for that FABulous reunion outfit! Gotta knock him dead!

30 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!

This face says it all...

I'm quite excited about this! Tomorrow is exactly one month and I couldn't be happier {that is until I see his face again...}

That's it.

5 Weeks

Today has been an absolutely fantastic day! For one reason

I woke up this morning and remembered that today marked 5 weeks left! Huge deal here! This past week I've had a hard time dealing with a mental battle from things said earlier from a friend which really rattled me. I began to question everything and freaking out about my relationship with my Honey. Then today... it all hit me; from what a temple worker said this morning, what my Love said in his letter today, what another close friend said about him, shopping for the makings of his Christmas present... I have an amazing man next to me. I can stop worrying and begin to have faith in this wonderful person that I have been extremely blessed to have in my life and to have hope in the future. It can be terrifying at times but this guy has made it worth everything these past {almost} two years. All of the tears, worries, anxiety, sleepless nights, heartaches, he is worth it! The happiness I feel whenever I am with him, when I get letters from him is inexpressible. The feeling of everything just fitting and falling into place with him is incomparable. Knowing that he loves me unconditionally and without restraint is priceless. Knowing that I can trust him with my heart and that he will take care of me for eternity is comforting. I've known this very early in our relationship, that I could marry him, that he was everything I had ever wanted and always needed and even more. That he is the rightest of right for me, my other {and better} half, my knight in shining armor, my Prince Charming, my best friend, fellow adventurer, the love of my life, the one I want to spend forever and ever with. He's everything.
Many people have told us that 2 years would tear us apart, that I wouldn't wait, that too much would change, he wouldn't want me, I'd find someone better. On and on... they weren't supportive at first, for a very long time. Sometimes I had listened to what they said and grew to worry but Taylor was always right behind to knock some sense into me and to remind me of what was real and not speculation. He's never given me reason to doubt him or his love or commitment. He's always been so supportive of me and whatever I wanted to do. He's written me every single week of his mission. He's always been so loving and caring and absolutely compassionate to me. He has made the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life just a bit easier. Nobody could ever make waiting easy, but he made it bearable and easier.
With 5 weeks left until I see him, I've decided that I'm going to give up on worrying, give up on the questions... everything negative I'm just going to put it aside and let it be. I'm going to live up the next 34 days and enjoy this time of preparation to see my man again! I've got quite a bit to do so I have to stay on top of it and I want to be happy during it all! No more mopey for me, no more frowns or being depressed or beaten up. I'm going to be ecstatic the next few weeks for my Love to be home and not stress about a thing. There's no reason for it! He's coming home and it's going to be the best day of my life! All thanks to him!

I've had the best 2 years of my life and I owe it all to him

First of November...

Yes.. It is the day after Halloween

Yes.. It is in fact the first day of November

Yes.. It is Tuesday...

However, that's not all!

Today marks the last month ever being away from my Honey of Honey's! I'm quite stok'd about this (I am Californian... I do not excused myself). Lots of changes are about to happen here... mucho preparations are going to start to be made. My skin clearing regime, healthier eating, more walks/runs (mostly to reduce anxiety), attending the temple more frequently, adjusting my schedule.... I may or may not also be thinking about getting a body wave in my hair. Opinions??? Please comment to leave your thoughts, advice, and opinions on my hair. My mom has always said that I should get a perm, I love curly hair, my boy LOVES when my hair is curly... I'm just scared. It's like getting a new style or cutting a significant chunk of your hair off, it's new and I need support ya'll! So here's my hair now

me on the right

And I want my lovely hair to kinda looked like this hairstyle

And this one

had a love child and created a wonderful combination of both. I would be happy with that. I could live with my hair looking like this for 3 months! I just need to find someone near me that could do this and not ruin my beautiful hair! Please comment and let me know, faithful readers... what you think! I need to get the hair done, no later than December 1.... one month people! One. Month! Ready... and go!