#MyWorthChallenge

 *this post originally published on www.ijustmakesandwiches.com, my food blog on March 12, 2016*

I will preface this post by saying that this is a bit unconventional, especially for a food blog, but I felt like this was something that I ought to share and get involved with. I know that I’ve talked a bit about myself in my About Me page but let me reach out to you guys in what I feel a is super relate-able way for all of us.

Now we have all felt self-doubt at some point in our lives, actually many times in our lives I guess if we’re being real here, but we all somehow manage to move past it and get on with our lives. Sometimes we let that self-doubt hang around a lot longer than we ought to which prevents us to really go after our goals and try seemingly scary things. But if you think about it, those scary things could be really what helps us grow and become more of the people we ought to be. I know I’ve had those crippling doubts creep into my mind many, many times but thankfully I had many wonderful and supportive people push me forward and encourage me to move on with my goals and to go for something that was terrifying at first. Some of these include: moving to Utah for college, dating my husband (that is a juicy story!), moving to Flagstaff for college, dropping out of college to go to culinary school, going on the competition team to Innsbruck, marrying my husband (that’s another good story! Any story with him is great actually!), starting this blog, becoming a mama… the list goes on and on.

I was terrified to go to culinary school because it was so not a part of my life plan but I was so unhappy with where I was scholastically and it really felt like the right direction for my life… I am so grateful for my parents who encouraged me to follow my passions and go for it! I was terrified to go to Austria, I was terrified of letting my partner, team, coach, and school down if we didn’t place but that week away from work and school really helped me to re-center myself and really figure out what I wanted to experience in my cooking career!

I was terrified to get married, y'all can relate to me on this… marriage is scary, commitment is super scary BUT I had known throughout our whole relationship that this is where we were headed. After some long talks with each other and some prayer, I went forward with my decision and have never looked back! I have never been happier as when he is by my side. This man is the bestest, best friend I have ever had and am grateful for his support and unfailing companionship; he truly makes me feel like I can do anything.

Deciding to become a mom, also, was a super terrifying decision; again I’m sure I’m getting an “oh yeah” from some of you. Of course, I have no idea what I am doing, no amount of reading will ever prepare me for my own kid! Yes, I have had experiences with kids throughout my life but still… it’s so different! Yet I think back on my life and see the example that my mom has shown me in raising me and when I think about her, I can’t help but feeling that I might just be ok at being a mom… If I can be half of the mom my mom has been, I think our kids might stand a chance in life. My mom is amazing! I also have an amazing mother-in-law who did an amazing job in raising her kids and I am always in awe of her parenting and am so observant of everything she does because she is such a wonderful mom.

This brings me to my blog decision… This is has been such a nerve-wracking venture to start on. It took me about 2 months of thought-stewing, researching, brainstorming, and web building to finally decide that this is what I ought to do. I am always fighting doubting thoughts that could keep me from going forward with this. Am I really that interesting to read? Do I really have good ideas to share? Will I actually get a following from this? I didn’t major in English in college, I just make sandwiches, what am I doing with a food blog?! I’m going to give you guys a little insight into this: I am so scared that this blog won’t be successful, that people won’t find me interesting and that I won’t be able to see this thought turn into a thriving reality. This could be very crippling to me if I let it.

Thankfully, I was approached (along with some other bloggers) by a fellow blogger to get behind, what I think is an incredibly empowering movement and I am so happy to help do what I can to push this movement forward. This movement is #myworthchallenge and here is what we do: every time we have self-deprecating thoughts, we think of 5 things that are awesome about ourselves and move on with our life, pushing aside our doubts! So using my mom and blog doubts:

Becoming a mom

1. I have an awesome mom and mother-in-law there for me for support and I have their examples to live by
2. Kids love me (true story)!
3. I have had lots of practice being patient in many situations
4. I am already developing a deep love for someone I haven’t met before, so that’s encouraging
5. I adapt to new situations in my own time and will eventually get the hang of this mom thing

 

This blog adventure:

1. I can be funny at times
2. I know what I am talking about as far as food goes
3. I make freakin awesome food!
4. I have had many amazing mentors who have helped me steer into this direction so there has to be a reason why I felt like this was the next stop in my food journey
5. I have a wonderful husband who pushed me along and helped me see how interesting I was and how I really could make this successful by being me

Now you may be wondering what this all has to do with food and your culinary journey (no I’m not just bearing my soul because I was out of post ideas). I will guarantee you that you will have some doubts about a dish you’re trying out, a new restaurant you are venturing to try, you may be doubting your ability to rock it in the kitchen and I need to stop you right there. YOU are awesome! YOU can try new things; whether it be a new dish, restaurant, or even a new life adventure. YOU are meant to do new and scary things because that is how we grow and become better. YOU are worth more than having doubts living in your mind and dictating your life decisions. Next time you have doubts creep into your mind about anything going on in your life, remember to think of 5 awesome things about yourself and then move on. If you’d like to, post a picture of yourself on social media with the hashtag #myworthchallenge, and let’s see this empowering movement move forward! We need to surround ourselves with those who will build us up when we need it. Also, visit Aleigh Moore’s blog to read and gain inspiration from her and her journey with this movement (she is the one who is starting all of this). Remember, YOU are awesome, YOU CAN cook, and it’s just food! Food is fun and can be relaxing. Embrace it and rock it! 

To Infinity and Beyond

*this post originally published on www.ijustmakesandwiches.com, my food blog on April 10, 2016* 

Pardon this somewhat random post, I guess I must be feeling nostalgic today and unsure of what my schedule is going to be looking like for the next few weeks. I guess I felt like this post ought to come from the heart as I’m going to be undergoing some major changes here within in the next 24 hours (literally) or so. It is really crazy to think that within the next day or two, I will be a fill fledge mom… Something I haven’t quite wrapped my head around yet and I’m sure it’s going to take a long time to not spin my head around looking for my own mom when I am addressed by that same title. It’s amazing how drastically our lives can change in a matter of a minute. One minute I will be Marlee and the next… I will forever be somebody’s mom. It’s a concept I haven’t grasped yet.

Though I don’t want to primarily speak on my inadequacies of becoming a mom or my inability to see myself as a mom. I want to focus on my journey that started 11 years ago until this point. There has been so much growth in that time and I am so thankful for the things I have learned and the experiences that have helped mold me into who I am today. I don’t want you all to think I’m going to drone on about every single job I had; too many mixed emotions with each place I guess.

When I think back when I was in high school, I would never have guessed that I’d be where I am today. I wanted to own my own dinner theater; I was a bit of a theatre nerd back then but never did I think I would really go to culinary school. Many people don’t know this about me but I originally went to college to study theatre with an acting emphasis, I only worked in the food business because it’s what I knew and it was an easy job to get… plus I had a hard time seeing myself work behind a desk. I needed mental and physical stimulation to be engaged in my job. Through a rude awakening, I decided I ought to study in the hospitality industry because that seemed like more stable work and I already had some experience under my belt as far as restaurants were concerned. But then I wasn’t happy with that either… once I had to take a class on Housekeeping ya’ll and I literally had to learn about the differences in thread counts as pertaining to sheets. That’s when I knew that this wasn’t quite the right fit.

And then, I don’t know, it just dawned on me I guess that I needed to go to culinary school because I was awesome at cooking and I loved working in the kitchens of restaurants (I’m kind of socially standoffish anyway so I had more interaction with parsley than actual people and that suited me just fine). Culinary school was such a blast! I won’t get into the financial aspect of things (mixed emotions remember) but it really was a great time! I met some chefs that really helped boost my confidence in my cooking and ability to be a leader and I went to Austria! On a cooking competition! Those two things, right there, made it all worthwhile.

Because I was in culinary school, doors opened to me for employment that I think would have remained shut otherwise. My first kitchen job while in culinary school was at a place called Caffe Boa; it was over in the Eastern part of Mesa and was a cute little bistro place. I was mainly a prep cook there which was fine and dandy with me while I learned how a real restaurant ran. My sous chef there was amazing. Each quarter of school, he would ask me to bring in my syllabi from my classes to see what I was learning and then each week, he would design a special that had something to do with what I was learning that week in class. He refused to acknowledge me if I ever called him Chef but this guy was talented! I loved working with him and more importantly, that he saw my education as valuable and that he could help my learning by having me engage with certain aspects of cooking each week. He truly cared about what I was learning at school and was helping me learn how to apply classroom knowledge to real-life scenarios. I loved that job and I miss it til this day still!

I also got to meet my mentor who I just adore with my whole being! This guy, also, helped open up the culinary world to me here in Phoenix. People can say that I rode coat tails or whatnot (haters gonna hate right) but this chef also took my education to heart and saw that there was a difference that could be made with me! His name is Payton Curry and is definitely not shy when it comes to the social media scene! But because he’s been such an influential Chef here in “the valley,” I’ve had the pleasure of being able to do some cool events with him. I’ve cooked multiple dinners with him, hung out with him at the farmers markets many countless Saturday mornings, picked his brain over menu ideas and career moves; it wasn’t uncommon for us to start talking at 2am because of work schedules many mornings. The past 5 years have brought us many career changing choices to make but I still value his advice and insight into what “Marlee needs to do next to reach her goal” more than most people. This guy believed in me more than I believed in myself most of the time and I am so grateful for that!

Flash forward to today, I’m now working (or was until 2 months ago) under a fantastic chef and sous chefs! At a previous job of mine, I would always hear the name Kevin Binkley (yes, as in THE Binkley’s in Cave Creek and yes, THE Kevin Binkley who has been up for numerous James Beard awards) come up and I knew he was a big deal from how people talked about him and how chefs revered his name. Never in a million years did I think I’d ever work for him (mainly because I never thought I’d be able to work up at Binkley’s) until I was given the opportunity to work at one of his casual restaurants here in Scottsdale. I knew that even though I wasn’t working directly under Kevin, the Chef of the place I was working at HAD and had the same standards that Kevin did. So I off handedly learned from Kevin, (through the grapevine as it were). As is natural in many kitchens, turn over happens and within 6 months or so, I found myself with a set of keys and code to the place… No pressure right?! This place has given me the same satisfaction with my job as did Caffe Boa did 5 years ago. I was learning new things and now, because of my experience, I was now teaching others who were just starting off on their journey. Talk about a humbling experience. This job has definitely provided its’ many challenges but it has been super fulfilling in other ways as well.

When I look to the future and what might it hold in store for me, my eyes are wide with excitement because truly, the world is my oyster. Because of my exposure to this culinary world in Phoenix, I feel so treasured to have someone I can share these exciting finds with and who gets just as excited as I do about them. My hubby, my better half, loves when I find a new place to check out or when I bring purple cauliflower home or when I replicate a dish that we enjoyed at a restaurant we love. Last summer we were blessed to go to Hawaii for a week (a much deserved vacation) and as we were sharing our experiences and pictures with family, his parents noticed that whenever we go on a vacation or on a weekend getaway, we always talk about the food, one or two activities that we did, but we remember every meal that we had while away, which is the complete opposite for them. I am so glad to have someone who loves food and the beauty of food as much as I do! He truly is the best companion for me.

Leading up to our final days as just the two of us, we’ve definitely found ways to celebrate with none other than food and I love him for that! It is so fitting for us to celebrate in that way (and I figured that I’m pregnant so why not go out in the last two weeks with a bang!). As I have reflected on this new food blog adventure and trying to figure myself out here with it, I am getting more and more excited to share my food adventures with another special person in my life and that is our little baby… Let me tell you guys, this little one is going to be the coolest kid ever! I really want to teach him about good food. I want him to be the weird kid because he loves vegetables and hates McDonalds. Probably one of the proudest days of my life will be when he doesn’t want to eat off of the kids menu at restaurants and wants to eat big people food because he’s grown up eating that anyway! I will know I have done my job right at that point. I am humbled and yet excited to know that the one that will benefit most from my culinary experience is my baby… he’s going to be my little ninja, my little sous chef and food taster… my company at the farmers markets and my number one student. How eye opening and wonderful is that!

I have been very anxious about this blog, as some of you remember me confessing in the #MyWorthChallenge, but it’s a huge unknown that I’ve undertaken and I hope that it pays off. I’d be able to stay home with our baby and teach him the way I would like and I’d be able to make sure that all of the things I hold dear and important are taught. There are many times I could have given up, many times where I could have thrown in the towel and said “this is too unknown and unfamiliar… I just won’t even bother” and then I came across this

And I knew that I need to keep pressing forward! Blogging, motherhood, continuing to cook… it’s all new, it’s all scary. But it’s going to be wonderful, according to some trusted sources. Today I spent my last day as a non-mom walking around an art and food festival in Tempe and I couldn’t think of a better way to bid the old Marlee farewell and warmly welcome the new Mama Marlee than eating some delicious food and working my last shift before being induced. I like to go out with a bang, what can I say!

 

Let’s try something bold and exciting and scary this coming week! I will be! And I’ll be back hopefully in a week to continue to give you advice on all of your cooking and kitchen queries. Don’t hesitate to email me things you’d like for me to discuss or any killer recipes I might have for pancakes or chicken or what have you. Next time we talk, I’ll have a little ninja to help me on our food adventures! Happy eating everyone!

 

Clearing the Air

Hey all. It's me again! I haven't posted in ages because of lack of internet connection but today I made a concerted effort because I knew that this topic was important enough to post about and clear the air concerning LDS women and the priesthood. Last Friday morning whilst eating my cereal and catching up on the news, this story came on CBS This Morning
Then I saw this article posted in the New York Times yesterday
So I knew something had to be said. Yes this is one of Marlee's soapboxes again however, if you are going to complain about the Church... you better know what it is you are complaining about and know your facts. This is what I sent in to CBS This Morning and felt like even though they recieved this comment, it would serve a good purpose if anyone could read it. Here it is.. Feel free to comment but please make sure that all comments are intelligible, contain no swearing, and are open minded. Thanks!

 

Good Morning!

My name is Marlee Brady and I am from Arizona. I faithfully watch this news show in the mornings before I start my day and I love the reporting done on this show. I especially wanted to comment on the story that was reported on March 7th about Mormon women questioning traditional roles in the Mormon Church. As a Latter Day Saint, or Mormon, woman I was intrigued by the story and felt like there were some points that needed to be clarified as far as church policy and how things actually happen and why they do.

First I would like to say that I felt that Jodi Kantor presented the story to the best of her ability with the information she had been given. However, those she spoke to do not have the understanding of why things are the way they are within the church. It is true that as Latter Day Saints, we believe that God has placed men and women on earth with very different but equally important roles. It is also true that only men can hold the priesthood in the church. We have a program in the church called Home Teaching in which men go out to minister to families and even to single women within their area; those women who do not have a husband or father in her home can ask her home teacher for any assistance with the priesthood at anytime. Why do women want the priesthood when they already have access to at any time? Men do not benefit from the priesthood that they themselves hold, they have to ask another man to use his priesthood for any help he may need. Changing this policy is not a matter of signing a petition and hoping the General Authorities (or Brethren) of the church will change their minds on this or any issue. The way that policy is changed in the church is through revelation. As Latter Day Saints we also believe that Jesus Christ leads and directs this church through appointed representatives. The Brethren do not lead the church. So whatever changes are made within the church, we believe, comes from revelation or the mind and will of God being made known unto us. That is the only way. We do not know why men were given the responsibility of the priesthood. We do not know why God chose men instead of women but we know He did and until God changes his mind that is the way it will stay.

Women have a different role to serve in the world and in the LDS church. Our calling in life is not out in front of the world to see like the men’s role is. Ours is of quiet and selfless sacrifice, of nurturing and strengthening families and individuals, and of standing as an example to those around us. The fact that a man holds the priesthood does not make him in a higher standing with God; the priesthood is meant to strengthen families and individuals, yes, but there is more responsibility and accountability with holding that power. Women seeking leadership positions within the church grossly misunderstand that positions, or callings, are not given out based on a list of qualifications and worldly accomplishments. They are given by knowing God’s will. That is the only way by which any leadership position is obtained within the church, male and female.

I found that in the report, there was no mention that women do serve in leadership positions within in the church. We do not just sit in the back of the chapel and let the men run the show. Men and women work in tandem with each other in their respective church units, wards or stakes as they are called, in different committees and leadership positions to help aid those under their “jurisdiction.” Women have the blessing of serving in Primary Presidencies (for the children), in Young Women’s Presidencies (over the young women), and in Relief Society Presidencies (for the women 18 and older). I currently am serving as a counselor in my ward’s Primary Presidency. I have my meetings to attend and children to minister to and families to serve. We work with the priesthood to make sure that those whom we’re over are being taken care of and that needs are met. The same pattern is followed in the upper levels of the church. We have wonderful and capable women who serve as General Primary, Young Women’s, and Relief Society Presidencies that have obligations to the entire world. Not just to those in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints but the entire world. These women were included in the committee when the topic of lowering the missionary age for both young men and young women were discussed. They were valued for their unique perspective as to how this would affect children, the youth, and parents if the age was lowered. Women in the church are revered for their role as mothers and wives in their families and their unique contributions to the church that men don’t have.

The last point that needed clearing up was the point sexual purity. We do believe in living a chaste and virtuous life as Latter Day Saints, both men and women. That means no sexual conduct before marriage and complete fidelity after marriage. When being interviewed by the bishop for a temple recommend, both women and men are asked if they life a chaste life. That is it. Only when sexual sin has been committed and a voluntary confession is scheduled with the bishop, is the bishop ever going to ask deep and uncomfortable questions about what took place. The reason being, sin is uncomfortable, telling anyone about anything that has been done that should not have been done is uncomfortable. If I ever had to have a talk with my bishop about such a serious subject, the last thing I would want would to have a third person in that room that had no business knowing what I had done. The bishop in a ward, we believe is a judge for personal worthiness within a ward and is the only one that members go to for confession of serious moral transgressions. The reason why bishops will press with further questions that are even uncomfortable for him to ask is because if he does not, he cannot help that individual to do the necessary steps of repentance to enjoy the full blessings of the church. That is the purpose to confess to a bishop, to right oneself with God and the church and get back on track. It’s not because an older man is interested in what happens behind closed doors with women. He asks the exact questions to men and they do not have the privilege of having a third party present either.

The purpose in my comment is show that this church is not run by old, power seeking, chauvinistic men wanting to continue to oppress the female membership of the church. It is to show that there is no gender inequality within the church; we simply have different roles than men do. The church will not change its policy just because 1,300 women signed a petition; it will change when God tells us to change. I am a proud member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and as an independent woman myself that has accomplished much in my young life, I say that women do not need to hold the priesthood. Women are blessed by the priesthood but we do not need to hold it in order to feel important or that we are equal to our male counterparts. We just need to do what God has appointed and has asked us to do, whatever that may be, and work with the men in our lives; not to try to compete or keep up with them. We are nothing without men and men are nothing without women.

Thank you for reading this and as always I will continue to get my news from Nora, Charlie, and Gayle every morning.

Marlee Brady

First Family Photo

I feel so loved :)

 

Families are forever... I'm so happy to know that.

I love being a wife to this awesome guy.

Life Moves On

It just seems like no matter how much I would love to stop and smell the roses, life passes on by leaving me in the dust left to wonder "what about yesterday?!" Life is wonderful and that's that. I couldn't imagine myself to be happier at this present moment. I never knew that a life like this existed. I am grateful for the changes that have recently taken place in life and embrace many more to come. In fact, I'm in need of another change quite soon.
One thing I have noticed in the past few months is how my view on time has significantly changed compared to my waiting days. I wanted those days to move incredibly fast and wanted to for each day to pass by before it really began. Now... I'm clutching on to slow days and wanting the hours to creep by ever so slowly. I have taken a liking to not rushing from one moment to the next... instead I like to watch the clouds pass by, look at my hibisucs plant sprout new growth, and craft breads that take hours to proof and bake. I'm dabbing into new hobbies, reading more about everything of my interests, fortifying my strengths and developing my weaknesses. I'm realizing what it is to become an adult. Becoming my own person. I have a new name and a new beginning. I'm realizing my worth as a woman, a cook, and a wife. I have been blessed with many gifts and talents, of which, I'm just now seeing the full potential. I'm bound to do great things... if I will only let myself and not subcumb to my fears. I'm living for me and that makes me the happiest.
Life is moving on... and I'm loving every minute of it.

Ooonly the HAPPIEST Day of My Life!

The day all of my waiting paid off.

3.10.2012

After the Trial of Faith

It's been FOR-EV-er since I have been able to post for you darling blog stalkers of mine. Wedding planning is quite the second job to take up... I'm so glad to have one job once more. However, this whole process has been an amazing learning experience and truly has become a window into our souls. I have truly learned how much he loves me and how willing he is to do anything for me. How anxious he is to make me happy and how that joy fuels any and everything he has in his life. My fiance has truly been an amazing blessing in my life. Waiting for him was worth every tear shed, worry eever worried, and heart race experienced.

In the beginning of my engagement, I was soooo worried if I had made the right decision; if marriage was really what was right for me and for us. This is one choice that must not be taken lightly and I was worrying myself sick over it. Over time though, with Taylor's patience, love, and understanding, I began to finally see that this trial was a blessing in disguise. The past month and a half have really brought me closer to my Father in Heaven and to my Sweetheart. I've learned what path was right for me and to be confident in the choices I have made. Things have unnaturally fallen into place as far as wedding planning has gone; bargains have been reached, deals have been found, favors have been extended... it's been incredible.

Taylor has been a very active participant in wedding planning since I work full time; it has been amazing what that has done for me. We had begun to worry that he wasn't working for the past 2 1/2 months since he's been home and how are we going to afford to live together after the wedding if he doesn't work?! but we have come to learn that we needed to trust in the Lord that if getting married was what we needed to do, that all would work out. And today... Taylor is starting work! I can't even begin to get used to all of the blessings we've been given but it's been a testament to my faith and the placement of it.

I am truly the luckiest girl in the world to have the fiance that I do have. He has been an angel in my life and I don't know where I'd be without him. Less than a month until I become his wife for time and eternity... I don't know how I was deemed worthy of this but I'm liking this!

How He Did It!

FINALLY I'm able to sit down and tell you fabulous readers how it happened. How Taylor finally asked me to marry him. I'm going to juggle typing out the story, eating my breakfast, and getting ready for church. So here we go!

The date was 12/22/11, a beautiful Thursday day date that he had spent an entire week planning and was so excited for, I was too! I had a tiny inkling in my mind that this was going to be the day and I had no idea what to expect. I was late gettting off of work (about an hour) and I rushed changing and heading over to his house. We drove off to a trail we had hiked before about 2 1/2 years ago during the summer; we hiked maybe a 1/6 of the way up the trail when he had us sit down on a rock and watch this amazing sunset! He pulled out two To-Go Nutella snacks and it was like having a dinner and a show. He took some amazing pictures of the sunset and us and we headed back as soon as we couldn't see the sun behind the mountains. Our next stop was to Carl's Jr. to have a delicious burger seeing as how I hadn't eaten since early that morning. Once that delicious burger was in my face, we went off to our next activity: bowling! The first bowling alley we went to was booked until 9:45 but he needed a lane sooner than that; we drove about 15 mintues to the next bowling alley and only bowled one game... in which he beat me barely. All of these things we were doing brought back so many memories of when we first started dating and I loved being able to relive them and just be with him that night.

Our last and final destination remained a secret to me... it was driving me crazy! We sang in the car along to songs from a playlist on his iPod that contained all of "our songs" We parked and started walking briskly to a destination that I was soon about to find out. Finally I saw signs for the Phoenix Zoon Lights. I was so excited since I had never been to see them and I LOVE seeing Christmas lights. It was a cold night and we walked close to each other all bundled up in jackets and hats. We walked around the zoo and saw these beautiful lights. By this time I was thinking when is he going to ask me?! what the heck?! but I enjoyed every minute of being with him and pushed my impatient thoughts to the side. Finally he convinced me to sit down so that we could watch a group of trees "dance" with lights to music; we sat by the lake and watched the lights. He asked me if my feet were hurting at all and I said a little... so he took off one of my socks and shoes and began to rub my feet right there. After a minute he looked at me and asked if I was having a good night and I said I was. He then asked "what are you doing every night for the rest of your life?" Then he got down on one knee and awkwardly {but very cutely} took the ring box out of his pocket and asked "Marlee Michelle, will you marry me?"

OF COURSE I said yes.... hello! I was beaming after he had asked and we hugged the whole rest of the night. I'm finally an engaged woman. I'm finally marrying my best friend and am so excited to spend the rest of eternity with him. I couldn't be happier!

Marriage date:

March 10th, 2012

THE Reunion

Hey my wonderful readers! Over a week has past since the big even happened and I feel it's now time {rather, I actually have time} to blog about it. Aaaaand I have a surprise for you all!! My wonderful man that I waited for is going to help me tell the story!!! {hi TJ!} My narrative shall be in regular type and his shall be in italics. Say hi Honey...HI!
He will talk lots more I promise! On to the story of the blessed day of December 8th, 2011.
First of all, let me say how honored I am to be able to participate in the writing of this, the story of stories {for us, anyway}. Aside from all the days and weeks and months preceeding Dec. 8th, in which I HIGHLY anticipated meeting this girl at the temple for the first time in two years, I think a definite beginning came the night before, as I realized, "Holy Moses, I'm going to see her TOMORROW. ONE MORE DAY." I was still on the missionary clock so I had to lay that thought aside for a bit. Needless to say, the thought wouldn't give up and came to me many a time between then and the next night.
I slept less-than-restfully (but was more than happy to lose sleep over the occasion). Woke up, piled into the van with the other soon-to-be RM's to go to the airport, checked in, etc...flew to Atlanta, and had to say goodbye to two best friends before they left to wait at their gate. I felt a bit of sorrow saying goodbye because I knew I was saying goodbye, little by little, to the most important thing I'd ever done...but then had a bit of alone time to imagine her to whom I'd soon say hello. I waited less-than-patiently on the 4-hr flight to Phoenix, got to see Mom&Family, and (of course) secretly missed someone I wished I could be seeing. "Just a few hours away," I told myself. "She waited for me...We've made it...just a few hours longer."
Meanwhile.... I was increasingly becoming more and more a nervous wreck because MY MAN WAS COMING HOME!!!! I thankfully was able to sleep the night before by staying up late watching CSI:NY with my dad. I woke up a bit early in the morning and headed to the temple to do baptisms one last time before Taylor came home. Much to my dismay... the temple was closed! Whaaaaa?! Yeah... I was not happy in the least bit. I ended up walking around the temple nearly freezing and drove myself back to the house and changed into street clothes. After I had changed, I had to get my Rachel {my lovely car... why have I not posted about her yet?!} cleaned so that she wouldn't be a righteous mess when she and Taylor were introduced. Once she was washed, I headed to the mall to try to do some shopping... key word is try here... I ended up just walking around the mall for close to 2 hours, while being constantly texted by loving and supportive friends {especially Kendahl}. It was so odd to think that I was no longer counting down the days but the hours until I would be seeing him again! As each minute passed, the realization of my dreams for the past 2 years was setting in and I became more and more anxious to see him already.
1:18pm HE LANDED!!!!!!!!!!! or so I thought... nevertheless I got a mass amount of texts informing me of what time it was and what that time meant... How could I not know?! I had become a master time counter over the past year, I knew what time it was! But I appreciated everyones excitement! Once I felt that sufficient time had been wasted walking around the mall... I decided to make my way back to the house while stopping off at a few stores to pick up a few things {this time I for real shopped}. Once I was home... I began to freak out a bit. A lot actually... and decided to do my hair. Which only took me like 45 minutes to do... and I still had 5 more hours to go before he was released. What. the. heck! Thankfully, Kendahl never ceased to text me that entire day. I read my scriptures a bit and took a slight nap... but that was to no avail since people kept texting me congrats... ugh!
Around 5pm, a dear mutual friend of Taylor and I said that she was on her way with another friend to help me get ready. My butterflies were coming up out of my stomach and I could not keep still. I just wanted to see him already!!!! You'd think after 2 years, I would have the patience of a saint... HA! My two friends came over and started putting my face on. I was all nerves and was afraid my friend was going to poke my eye out with eyeliner from me trying to keep still. Out of nowhere, one of my friends ran over to me with my phone in my hand and it was vibrating... someone was calling. I saw his glorious face on the caller id and said ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah.... legit freaking out was finally happening! I answered and his mom's voice was on the other line saying she was calling in behalf of Taylor. I just about lost it. I didn't care really why she was calling because I knew why, I was just so happy to know she was calling for him. She wanted to make sure that I was still good to meet at the temple. I had to control myself from exuberantly exclaiming OF COURSE!!!! so what came out was "yeah I was still planning on going over there after he's released." She said that he would call me after he was released to give me the go. After we hung up, I had to pause the face-putting-on since tears were starting to make their way... and lets be honest, I had waterproof eyeliner AND mascara but I was taking no chances! It was really happening! Holy freaking cow!
Finishing touches were done on the face and hair and I then changed into the outfit I had planned for about a year in advance {us MG's do that type of thing... we're kinda excited for this day}. Everything looked great and I felt totally spoiled and a bag of nerves at the same time... at least I was a great looking bag of nerves. The girls decided to head to Arbys to kill time before the call... I hate Arbys. 'Nough about that. The fries I hungrily scarfed down were only because I had not eaten a single thing that day. I was grossed out... but whtvr. My right state of mind had been checked out a long time ago that day. After they were finished eating, we made our way to the temple thinking we could just hang out at the Visitors Center and wait for the call. We were 30 seconds from a parking space when.... THE BLESSED CALL CAME!!!!!!!! Hallelujah! His beautiful voice filled my ears and I almost dropped my phone. "Hey Honey. This is Eld... I mean Brother Brady." I kept saying ohmygosh over and over again on the phone... I was talking to him in real time! I didn't have to wait months for a reply on a tape cassette... I was talking to him on the phone. He told me that he had just been released and was on his way to the temple.
We finally parked in the parking lot across from the temple grounds and I immediately jumped out of the car. I had to wait for my friends to get situated and finally I asked one if I could go already and she said yes. I was off! In my boots, I still outwalked two girls taller than me. I was a woman on a mission to see her man! Nothing was going to hold me back. It was sinking in more now than ever that I was actually going to be seeing him. This figment of my imagination was becoming a reality once again.
I was relieved when I found out I'd be released at 7:15...plenty of time to go see my Marlee before the end of the night. Everything went perfectly...A few hours with the family, a bit of unpacking, return and report with the stake president, and then...I grabbed the keys (real smooth driving my mom's car) and made the call. I couldn't help but sigh as I heard her try to control herself on the phone, knowing how happy she was. Best day of my life, so far :) Then I was off. I suddenly had a bone to pick with whoever established the city speed limits, but got there at last. After a short walk, I finally saw her...extatic, beautiful...I felt on the inside the way she looked on the outside. She ran to me, I threw my arms around her & pickerd her up, and just like that, we were done waiting.

I got to the place where we agreed we'd meet and had to wait... ever more patiently to see him. We had no idea which side he would come from and my phone was going off the hook! My friends were taking test shots to get the lighting and settings right on the camera and I just rocked back and forth. I kept saying ohmygoshohmyogoshohmygoshohmygosh and trying not to freak out too terribly. Those 10 minutes had been the longest 10 minutes I had ever waited during the entire 2 years. I needed to see him as soon as possible. Suddenly, I looked to my right past two pillars and saw his shillouette... I had not forgotten what his walk looked like after all this time. My soul filled with delight and inexpressible joy as I saw the man I had waited for come my way. He looked amazing! He looked no longer like the boy I had fallen for over 2 1/2 years ago but he now looked like the man I had grown together with 2,000 miles away. The man I had become even better best friends with and grown even more deeply in love with over the 2 years was coming home to me. I began to walk to him and thought "why are you not running?!!!" So I began to run and I jumped into those arms that had been my support and protection for so long; the arms I had longed to be in for 736 days. I said to him "you're real! Oh my gosh! You're real!" He whispered back "Yes I am! I am never letting your feet touch the ground ever again." I hung there close to his body soaking in the moment that he was home at last. He was really... really home. Once I was back on the ground, I buried my face into his chest and cried tears of complete joy. My best friend was back and he was all mine. My friend continued to take pictures and Taylor kept saying "I love you" and "you are even more beautiful! How did this happen?!" (I was freaking out when I saw how good she looked ;) But soon much more cconcerned with just being able to hold her.) We finally pulled from each others embrace and kissed. Our first kiss in 2 years! How I had missed those lips {2 minute club ladies ;)}. Taylor then said hi to our friends while still holding on to me... we were now fused at the hip, never to leave each others side. We decided to walk around the temple grounds and look at the lights but... I honestly was not looking at the lights. I still couldn't believe I was holding his hand and looking at his face. We would stop and look at each other and just look into the other's eyes and live in the moment. We made our way to the Visitor's Center and listened to the Christus presentation; I had both arms wrapped around his arm and sat as close to him as possible. He was finally home...
After the presentation, we went to Dairy Queen for hot chocolate and blizzards. We all walked back to the cars, Taylor and I hand in hand, stealing glances from one another and getting to know one another again. Taylor and I went back to his house to pick up my last ever letter and he drove me back home. Saying goodbye that night was the hardest... I had just gotten my Honey back... and now I had to say goodbye again?! You kidding me?! Oh well... I did... and I was too excited to see him again the next day and the day after.... and many days after!
Life with him back home has been an adjustment but a wonderful adjustment. I have a man who insists on taking care of me endlessly and loves me unconditionally. Taylor was quite mature when he left for the mission but he turned into a real man by the time he came home. Our relationship has even more depth to it and we have a truer and deeper lasting love for one another. Waiting for Taylor Jordan Brady was the best decision I have ever made! They really do come home and it really is as if he never left! As we were at the temple the following Sunday, it really hit me how it feels so natural to be with him again and how everything is how it was before... only better! I do not regret a single moment I spent waiting for him because of all that I had learned during that time. The Lord knew who he would become at the end of the mission and I'm so grateful for the divine support I had felt during my hard times while waiting. He was definitely worth the wait and I would do it all over again!

My Darling Taylor,

We did it!

Yours Forever,

Marlee Michelle

This Is It!

Holy cow! Holy cow! Holy cow!!!

Now I know this isn't THE post ya'll are waiting for... that'll come within this coming weekend... It's slowly but surely hitting me that he is coming home tomorrow.. I'll see him tomorrow and he'll be here!! I can't believe it! It's such a surreal thing to experience, I'm slightly freaking out {in a good way though!}. Lately I've been thinking over the past two years and all that's happened to me to make me who I am today. Just wanted to share with you wonderful people the things on my mind in hopes that it might be of help to some of you in whatever situation you may be in.

I've learned how to live for me and put myself first. My biggest dream was to go to culinary school to launch my path into becoming a chef and you know what... I did it! I finally let go of the path that I was on, which wasn't making me the happiest, and embraced the career I wanted since I could remember!

I grew some tough skin over the past two years, let me tell you. Quite a few people shared with me their "opinions" on my decision to wait for my boyfriend on his mission. I got the classic "arguements" against it and I realize that some were said in my best interest and because they just want me to be happy. In the beginning, I took it all too personal... then I realized I just needed it to roll off my shoulders and keep going with what I felt was right despite what others said. I learned to stand on my own two feet even if I was alone. Over the months and years, I've learned how to filter through everyone's two cents and who I needed to listen to. I'm grateful for everything that I've had to go through to get to be where I am today.

Going into this, I knew waiting was going to be hard... really hard. I never knew how much though. Yet, I never knew how much of a blessing this would be to me. I could never fathom the kind of growth I've experienced over the past two years. Nobody ever told be this side of the story... the ones who make it, the ones who found the two years to be worth it... I never knew. I'm so glad that I've had this time to get to know though, that this can be done!

There were a few time where I wanted to hang up my hat and count my losses. There was just something about that boy and this whole thing that kept me from doing it. I realized that you don't give up when times get tough, you put your head down and get to work. When things get hard... that's when you need to look at your other and figure out if it's worth it. Let me tell you all... it has been more than worth it!

So tomorrow, I'm going to have quite the day. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep in a bit, go to the temple, do some shopping for me and my bro, then go home and work on his Christmas present, then get ready... my heart will be making it's way out of my chest right around then and I'm sure legitmate freaking out shall commence. I get to see my Honey in less than 24 hours! 2 years has been a very long time and I never thought it would ever be over... and yet here we are! My post that I've been waiting to write for a long time! Our Forever After will start to begin soon and I can't wait!

A big thanks to all who have stood by me through all of this. Friends, family, MG's... even those with disparaging comments who have turned around to support me in the end. Those comments never gave me the fire to prove them wrong but just helped me develop into my own person. To learn to think for myself and really know what I truly know. These 2 years have been such a journey and I'm so thankful that I've been able to take it with the man who would stay by my side through thick and thin. He's been such an amazing example to me and I love him with everything I have. He has been worth all the wait and I can't wait to see his amazing face and move forward with us now!

T-minus 22 hours and counting. Stay tuned.

Dearest Missionary Girlfriends,

This post is for you, my girls! As the days are quickly approaching, I have felt that I needed to post specifically for you, to give advice, hope, consolation, stories... you name it, I would like to give that to you ladies. Let me just tell you all how much I love you... I love every single one of you! Those who I've known the entire time I've been apart of this process and those who are just now entering as I am making my exit. Each one of you girls has a special purpose and a special plan that only you can figure out.

Before I ever became a missionary girlfriend, I thought that the entire thought of "waiting" was, quite honestly, the stupidest thing a girl could ever do. Yes... I was a dreaded waiter hater. I never shared my views with girls who I knew were waiting vocally, I always kept them to myself. I never thought I'd understand why girls would put their lives on hold... for a boy! Come on! A boy... then again, I was slightly a boy hater at the time too. I was brought up and taught to be independent of the male species and to rely on only myself to accomplish anything or for happiness.

My whole world and thoughts then changed when I met this boy and he kept being reintroduced into my life. I had sworn that I would never wait for a missionary, even when I was writing 8 of my best guy friends on their missions. I would never put my life on hold for someone, I was living for me and going to accomplish what I wanted to in life, whether or not I had a guy with me. However, I fell in love with this boy and fell hard. Now I know that we all have control over our feelings and emotions and that we are never forced to be with someone... yet it felt like falling in love with him was what was supposed to happen, that becoming close with him was what I needed to do. I had thought about him and myself a lot! I knew he was going to go back on his mission and that he was going to be gone for 2 years... I would not see him for over 730 days. As time passed, I felt certain that waiting for him was the best choice for us, him, and me.

After he left for the MTC and 9 weeks later, his mission, life for me changed and I had to figure out how to live without him and what exactly was "waiting" for me. I still was not going to put my life on hold... but was I going to wait? What was I going to do for school? For work? What life experiences would I embark on? All of these questions came up to me and I started my journey as a missionary girlfriend. I made some major life changes, moved home and lived for me. I made friends, working an awesome job, joined the MG group on Facebook, and got to do some incredible things!

Girls, I never stopped living while he was gone! Yes we wrote each other every week and sent tapes and packages and things of that such but I still did what I had to for me to be the best I could be for my future. I prayed a ton! I cried a ton. I worried a ton. I laughed a ton. I learned a ton and I'm so grateful for these past two years of my life being away from him. I do love him dearly, I truly do. But I would never regret a single thing I've done or haven't done during his mission; it all happened for a reason.

There were quite a few times where I wanted to write him off because I was hurting so bad, having crazy doubts, concerns, and dwelling too much on the past. I wanted it all to stop, for all the bad things to go away and for me to have some sort of sanity again but there was always something that kept me going. Every time I went to write him and tell him I wanted to stop... that's when the Lord stepped in and consoled my aching spirit and gave me the comfort and strength I needed to move on and keep supporting one of His sons doing His work. Girls, don't ever give up! No matter how hard times get, no matter how much you hurt or think you can't go another day waiting... remember why you are in the first place. Remember your missionary and what he's going through everyday trying to share the gospel with others. They need our support and our love.

Once, in institute, we were talking about why men carry an older picture of their wives in their wallets instead of current ones. My institute teacher explained that for them, that was their "Day One" the day when they knew she was "the one." I shared that with Taylor when he was on his mission and when I was going through my period of tough times, he would always say "Marlee Michelle, remember our day one..." Girls... if you know that this is what you need to be doing, remember! Remember your Day One with your missionary... that day will get you through the hardest periods of time of the mission.

Grow with your missionary!!! Learn and share with him what you're doing in your letters. Taylor had his first interview with his mission president when he got to the field and after he told president he had a girl back home, the mission president expressed how important it was for the girl to grow with the missionary. If you want this to work, grow like he is! Taylor and I made it a goal to read the entire Standard Works during his mission, we read from the Missionary Reference Library together, I studied Preach My Gospel the first 6 months of his mission every single day to connect with him and get a glimpse into what he was doing everyday! I shared with him what I was reading in my scriptures, what verses stuck out to me; I shared with him my pondering and my thoughts on gospel doctrine and principles that I had studied out further. I would go on my little soapbox and be Missionary Marlee for a paragraph or so and he loved it! Grow in the gospel with him! Make sure that you two can talk about gospel topics with one another and have serious spiritual discussions... make sure that you two are at the same level as one another.

A goal I had made once he left, was to go to the temple as often as I could. When I moved home, I tried my best to go every week and do baptisms. There was a point where I didn't go for 3 months because I thought that I "didn't have enough time." Ha! You always have time to go! Make the time. There is nothing like stepping into the temple and just setting time aside for yourself in the middle of the week and feeling of the spirit there. Going to the temple truly helped me unwind and get a grip on my life to take on the following week.

I have never prayed so much and had long sincere prayers before in my entire life but I needed it if there was any hope of me making through this mission with my sanity still in tact. I learned so much about the Atonement, forgiveness, Heavenly Father's perception of me, about my Savior and how much I need them whether I was waiting for a missionary or not. I learned how to really listen to the Spirit and receive the guidance I needed for my life and what directions I needed to take. I learned how to keep going when it felt like everything was against me. Even though times got hard, it didn't mean it was a sign to end things... just a sign that a lesson was headed my way. I took this opportunity to learn what my Heavenly Father needed me to learn in these two years and apply it to my life.

You girls feel like sisters to me. I was directed to this secret world of MG's by a good friend who married her missionary. I was hesitant to join, thinking that if I did so... I was jinxing myself. However... this group has saved me! I always felt like if I ever needed to hear something to help me, I could find it on one of your girl's posts! I admire how you girls are going through what life is throwing at you while your boys are away. I admire your faith, your strength, your desire to do righteous things and support your boys. You are all such an inspiration to me and I thank you all for your love and support in the past 16 months I've been apart of this group! I enjoy this secret sisterhood we each have with one another! Keep cheering each other on, consoling one another, supporting one another, rejoicing with another, and keep loving each other! We need each other to help grow and get through this time apart. You will never regret the days you spent as an MG, you'll only regret the days you never lived as an MG. May God bless everyone of you girls and whatever your desires may be! I love you all and hope this post could be of some help to someone reading it. I'll always be here if any of you need me.

Love you ladies!

Marlee Michelle

The Lasts

This is a quickie dear stalkers. This is the last week of him gone. I wrote his last letter tonight. This is the last of a lot of things... but I'm quite excited for the beginning of a whole new rounds of firsts and news... it's incredible to think that I'll have to get used to a boyfriend again... that I'll actually have a date on Friday and Saturday nights. That my plans, desires, and wishes will all be following through with now.... the way I've come to look at it is that I'm leaving one way of life in exchange for another. Granted, it's a much better life I'm exchanging for, don't get me wrong; it's just an adjustment of going with the familiar on to something new and spectacular. I'm feeling all sorts of emotions and thinking all kinds of thoughts all at the same time... it can be quite exhausting let me tell you. But I'm grateful for everything that I have been blessed with. I see him in 7 days. At this moment in one week, I'll be in his arms again... seeing him, touching him, and knowing that he's real and does exist after all this time! It's been a wonderful ride and I'd like to leave you lovelies with a poem I wrote almost two years ago about my decision to stick with him through this mission. Enjoy.


Voices (Safe at Sea)

Voices carried in the wind
Are rushing, pounding in.
I am out at sea,
Everyone is trying to save me.
Safely in Poseidon’s net am I found
Yet they all try to come around.

Too many voices inside my mind
Drowning my confidence I had fought to find.
Doubt, question, insecurity cloud up my clear sky
Now make me look at my perfect picture and ask why?
Tis not good fortune to make the Creator question her work
For she followed exactly, her Masters perfect book.

The sea was to liberate me
Free to wait and see
Gain the freedom to say “let it be”
I know I am incomplete
For right now it seems
Night can hold my worst dreams.

Faith, hope, and love
Memories, letters, and songs
Will keep me safe, make sure I hold on.
“Have trust in me,
Doubt not, can you not see?
I will last, I am strong
I will prove faithful, I will not be torn.”

The winds yell out “you cannot know
You are too young and still need to grow.”
To them, time is far
Distance too long to make the bar
If my journey be safe at sea,
Do not save but oh, please, support me.

For while my love be in a different clime
Calm the rushing wind and the boisterous chime
Crowd me not and make me not ashamed
Do not discourage but uplift the unmaimed.
“You’ll make it, ‘tis not a long time,
He told you “our lasting love is true
It is what will see us this journey through.
We both know for certainty
It is you and me for eternity.’”

Special posts to follow in the coming week.

What is Love?

Not to break out in song... sorry to disappoint. My mind has been mulling over a conversation, or rather, mulling over what I had heard from someone who once used to be so dear to me 4 years ago. I won't go into many details of this night, what was said, or what the situation was. However I would like to spew out a few thoughts I've had since this night and what I've come to find out I had learned over the years about love, letting go, and moving on with life once a lemon has been thrown.

Love is a beautiful and wonderful and if we are not careful, we can be swept off of our feet without warning and carried away to places, feelings, and imaginative scenarios that we swear are real. Sometimes we get so carried away in the feelings of love, that rose colored glasses are put over our eyes and we truly believe that "all is well" and begin to overlook weaknesses in others and write it off without a second thought. I learned that it is vital for us to slow down and truly look at a person's character, habits, tendencies, strengths, and weaknesses to really find out if this match is a good one... we can't afford to live in the honeymoon stage forever, not matter how perfect it may seem.

Yet when you find that person, whom you can love their imperfections perfectly... you. hold. on! You can't let them go no matter what. If that person who you don't want to ever live without is within your reach, you work and work and work to make that relationship last. Comparing my two boys to one another, I realized how much TJ had taught me the importance of working within a relationship instead of discarding it when worries and difficulties came along. There were a couple of times in the course of our dating where I thought TJ and I had a legitmate excuse to breakup because so many others would've but he would always ask "do you want to?" of course, our answers were the same. I realized that it was not ok to throw a relationship to the wayside just because life courses weren't going as planned.

When I was broken up with, it took years to realize this, it was actually a really good thing to happen to me. Even though I physically ached inside for months and wasn't healing quickly and became depressed over "the love of my life" breaking my heart, all of the times with him together and away from him, was a good learning experience. I do not regret it at all. That relationship thing whatever you want to call it, had good times along with bad times.... it was all needed to make me who I am today and realize exactly what it was I truly wanted. I learned how important it was for me to finally let go and find myself and be content with who I was as a person before I could give my love and my whole self to another. I had to have a solid relationship with my Heavenly Father before I could trust my heart to another. I learned how crucial it is to allow God into my relationships and to consult with him before moving forward in that aspect of my life.

I learned to let go of something that this boy was right about but is now questioning: it wouldn't have worked out with us. We were both too young and inexperienced to know who we would've wanted to spend eternity with. We both needed to grow up and because we did and because of that night's conversation, I realized how much I had grown in the 4 years of the heartache and life's different experiences, I realized how different we were now. I walked away from that night with a confirmation that I had chosen right in TJ and moving forward with my life. I had an amazing man who know how special I was and how lucky he was to have me and didn't have to lose me to figure that out.

I don't regret a single thing that has happened to me or the choices I have made... I have become who I am; a stonger, more independant, loving, and compassionate person because of all I've been through. I love myself and I wouldn't change a thing.

Gratitude

Allow me to be quite passe with this post because seeing as how it's Thanksgiving, I've got a lot of thanks to be giving! This year has been a tremendous year for me: one of tremendous growth, adventures, explorations, happiness, sadness, good times, bad times, a year to definitely remember. I've been reflecting and pondering about everything that has happened to me over the past year and what blessings I've recieved whether they were blessings in disguise or what not. Let me just express my thanks for 10 things this year:

First... I'm incredibly grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the amazing change it has been in my life for the past 9 1/2 years. I believe I have more knowledge and understanding of the workings of God and have a better picture of what the eternal scheme of things. I'm grateful for my Savior and the Atonement in my life. I definitely would not be the same without all that this gospel brings into my life.

Second... I'm so grateful for my family! We are an insane bunch of people and have a tendency to be loud and crass sometimes; they have been an amazing source of support and encouragement when I'm off on my craziest adventure. They have laughed with me, cried with me, yelled with me (and even at me) and I would never have it anyother way. I love my family so much and I am so grateful for the whack jobs that it is made up of.

Third... so this may sound silly but I'm grateful for my dog. He's awesome. Whenever I would come home at 1 or 2 in the morning from a long day of school and work, he would always be the first one to see me and tell me hi.... even if he did stumble over to me from just waking up. He's an awesome dog and loves me no matter what I do to him, he loves to cuddle with me on the couch and my bed and just wants me to pay attention to him. I'm grateful for his love and unconditional patience with me.

Fourth.... I'm sooo grateful that I was able to go to culinary school and do what I ABsolutely love to do! I was so close to not being able to go to school for financial reasons but a miracle occured and I was given a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity to do what makes me so happy. I'm grateful for the instructors I had at school, the people I got to cook alongside with, the adventure of going to Austria and everyother amazing experience I had while I was there. I grew so much and became my own kind of person from it. I will always be grateful for going to school and learning what I did to make me the cook I am today.

Fifth... I'm grateful for my mentor, Payton... of Chef... of Jefe... or whatever. This man is amazing! Not enough can be said about him and the advice he's given me. He's taught me a lot about patience and working through adversity even if you just feel like walking out everynight. He's my career consultant, my relationship consultant, and now... my hair consultant. I love this man and respect him so much. I can't wait to see what the future holds for both of us in this lovely world of food!

Sixth... this one is definitely odd.... I'm grateful for trials. Yep. Weird I know how can she be grateful for the hard times?! I'll tell you why... because there's always something to be learned from them. I don't believe there are such things as regrets as related to trials as long as you learn from them... if you don't, then time was wasted and you can tend to regret things. Over the years, llife has definitely thrown at me some doozy trials and hard times but I am so grateful for the lessons I had learned and growing up I did in those times. I've learned to look for the silver lining and look for what I can learn in these times and strive to be a better person. Be thankful for your trials because there's always a blessing to be had... you just gotta look for it.

Seventh... I'm grateful for my calling as a Primary teacher. I walk away absolutely exhausted after those two hours every Sunday but I have really learned to love my kids and be a teacher for them. They have taught me a lot about disipline, unconditional love, taking in the simple things and just slowing down for a bit. My kids are a riot but I needed to be their teacher and they needed to be my kids. I'm grateful to re-learn the gospel in such a simple way so that kids can understand important principles for happiness.

Eigth... I'm grateful for my health. I've never had be admitted into the hospital or depend on medications for my health. I've always been really healthy and have never had major life complications that would adversely affect me. I only get a minor cold once a year or less... I've been truly blessed with a healthy and working body

Ninth... shout out to my girls, my fellow MG's. Around August, I joined a support group of other girls waiting for missionaries and honestly... joining this group saved me! These girls are the epitome of faith, perseverance, optimism, devotion, dilligence, and obedience. The road of an MG is not an easy one nor is high sought after... but every single girl will tell you, once it is over and done with, that every single moment had been worth it. These ladies give me hope, reassurance, confidence, courage, strength, and support even when I didn't feel like I was getting much at home for doing what I am. They have always been there for me whenever I needed them and I have tried to be there for everyone of those girls. I am grateful for the Christ-like way in which they handle themselves, other members, and situations they have been placed into. Even though I have never met a majority of them face-to-face, they have become some of my closest friends in all of this and I will be forever grateful for their love and support.

Last... but certainly not least (that saying of save the best for last definitely applies in this instance) I am so grateful for my Honey, my Love, my otherhalf, and my best friend. We have spent more time apart than physically together but it has never really felt like he was so far away. I am so grateful for Taylor Jordan Brady being in my life. When we first met, I had no idea that things would turn out the way that they have; I never would've imagined anything coming from it. Then the second time... still never thought anything of it... then the third time, that's when I started to maybe think that it was more than just coincidence... that maybe there was a reason for him being around and I just needed to pay attention to it. I'm so grateful for who I am when I am around him. I'm grateful for his patience, his logical tendencies, his love, his drive and ambition to always be better. I'm grateful for his dedication to the Lord, for his willing to sacrifice of the certainty of our relationship to do what is his priesthood duty calls him to do and do it with all of his heart, might, mind, and strength. I am grateful for his example to me, for his love and all of his quirks. He is one of the most amazing men I have been blessed to know in my life and am so lucky to call him mine. I'm grateful that when I was so close to giving up and letting go of him, he listened to me, he understood me, but he held on and reminded me of what we had that was too important and too special to let go of. I'm grateful for his faith, for his strength and for his active standing in the church. He has been my best friend for so long and has helped me through so much. He loves me when others would've given up. I don't know what I did to become so lucky in my life, but I know there was a reason he kept showing up in my life and I thanks God every single day for him. He amazes me and I don't want to live without him. Exactly 2 more weeks until he is back home, as a "civi"... it is incredibly unreal and I don't know how to grasp it. As I reread one of his most recent letters, I read a sentence he wrote and it hit me smack in the face "he's so excited to come home to you and see you again!" I'm grateful for his excitement because it just fuels mine!

This year has been remarkable for me. A ton of blessings have been given/recieved and I'm so grateful for everything in my life. I hope to continue to express my gratitude daily for everything and not let it store up until Thanksgiving to truly reflect on my life over a year and be grateful for what I do have. I hope to be ever grateful for even just the small things in life; life itself is something to be grateful for.