After the Trial of Faith

It's been FOR-EV-er since I have been able to post for you darling blog stalkers of mine. Wedding planning is quite the second job to take up... I'm so glad to have one job once more. However, this whole process has been an amazing learning experience and truly has become a window into our souls. I have truly learned how much he loves me and how willing he is to do anything for me. How anxious he is to make me happy and how that joy fuels any and everything he has in his life. My fiance has truly been an amazing blessing in my life. Waiting for him was worth every tear shed, worry eever worried, and heart race experienced.

In the beginning of my engagement, I was soooo worried if I had made the right decision; if marriage was really what was right for me and for us. This is one choice that must not be taken lightly and I was worrying myself sick over it. Over time though, with Taylor's patience, love, and understanding, I began to finally see that this trial was a blessing in disguise. The past month and a half have really brought me closer to my Father in Heaven and to my Sweetheart. I've learned what path was right for me and to be confident in the choices I have made. Things have unnaturally fallen into place as far as wedding planning has gone; bargains have been reached, deals have been found, favors have been extended... it's been incredible.

Taylor has been a very active participant in wedding planning since I work full time; it has been amazing what that has done for me. We had begun to worry that he wasn't working for the past 2 1/2 months since he's been home and how are we going to afford to live together after the wedding if he doesn't work?! but we have come to learn that we needed to trust in the Lord that if getting married was what we needed to do, that all would work out. And today... Taylor is starting work! I can't even begin to get used to all of the blessings we've been given but it's been a testament to my faith and the placement of it.

I am truly the luckiest girl in the world to have the fiance that I do have. He has been an angel in my life and I don't know where I'd be without him. Less than a month until I become his wife for time and eternity... I don't know how I was deemed worthy of this but I'm liking this!

Tis the Freakin Season....

I promise I am in no way venting in this post... I'm just missing a special someone.
There seems to be two seasons for weddings: Summer... and Winter.
Occassionally there'll be weddings in between those two but those are rare and those individuals are quite weird. I've been to two weddings in the past 2 weeks and I have... about 2 or 3 more coming up here soon. Last year was worse though, I got 2 or 3 invitations in the mail a week! Everybody and their brother was getting married. Holy crap! I definitely was missing my boy very much and had a pang of jealousy and a touch bit of resentment to those who were getting married. Don't think I'm a horribly human being, please, because I was truly happy for those getting married and was excited to get their announcements/invitations. However, I couldn't help but looking up and saying quietly why not me?! Am I broken? Am I not worthy of this blessing? Why do I have to wait?? Almost instantaneously, a line from a poem would come to my mind that would help explain to me why:

You will never be united with another

Until you are united with me...

I won't read into other's relationships and the reasons for them moving on into a married life before me and why I have to feel like an old maid for so long but I know that when it's nights like these that I need to focus on the time I have to grow and progress into the woman I need to become and be worthy of the blessing of marriage. I also have to remember that I do have a man that I am going to marry, we just had to go through this stage to really appreciate each other and be put to the test. Make sure that our relationship was based upon a lasting friendship that will help us get through the toughest of times when we might not want to see each other's face for a while... I'm not banking on that happening but stranger things have been known to happen.

Once, before TJ left for his mission, he and I were talking about my single status for 19 years of my life and the possible reasons why and what he texted me when I had asked why took my breath away...

“Maybe Heavenly Father was saving you for the one guy who would treat you like the angel you are ”

I think I'll keep this one. He's worth waiting for!

So tis the season for everyone to get married, it's ok. Bring it on. I'll get my own soon. And it will have meant more to me than anything else I have ever wanted because I had to wait, a very loooong time, to get this one thing! The one man who will always make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world