After the Trial of Faith

It's been FOR-EV-er since I have been able to post for you darling blog stalkers of mine. Wedding planning is quite the second job to take up... I'm so glad to have one job once more. However, this whole process has been an amazing learning experience and truly has become a window into our souls. I have truly learned how much he loves me and how willing he is to do anything for me. How anxious he is to make me happy and how that joy fuels any and everything he has in his life. My fiance has truly been an amazing blessing in my life. Waiting for him was worth every tear shed, worry eever worried, and heart race experienced.

In the beginning of my engagement, I was soooo worried if I had made the right decision; if marriage was really what was right for me and for us. This is one choice that must not be taken lightly and I was worrying myself sick over it. Over time though, with Taylor's patience, love, and understanding, I began to finally see that this trial was a blessing in disguise. The past month and a half have really brought me closer to my Father in Heaven and to my Sweetheart. I've learned what path was right for me and to be confident in the choices I have made. Things have unnaturally fallen into place as far as wedding planning has gone; bargains have been reached, deals have been found, favors have been extended... it's been incredible.

Taylor has been a very active participant in wedding planning since I work full time; it has been amazing what that has done for me. We had begun to worry that he wasn't working for the past 2 1/2 months since he's been home and how are we going to afford to live together after the wedding if he doesn't work?! but we have come to learn that we needed to trust in the Lord that if getting married was what we needed to do, that all would work out. And today... Taylor is starting work! I can't even begin to get used to all of the blessings we've been given but it's been a testament to my faith and the placement of it.

I am truly the luckiest girl in the world to have the fiance that I do have. He has been an angel in my life and I don't know where I'd be without him. Less than a month until I become his wife for time and eternity... I don't know how I was deemed worthy of this but I'm liking this!

Dearest Taylor,

My Darling! Hi! I just felt like saying that I love you and how excited I am to be yours forever. I saw this video and thought of sharing it with you. I know that we'll be that cute old couple 50 years from now. I know that my life with you will be the happiest I could've ever hoped for. I can't wait to grow old and wrinkley with you. Go through life with you. And have an eternities worth of memories to share with you. As long as it's you, I could never ask for anything more. I know that our adherence to the gospel will ensure a long and happy life together! I can't wait for you to ask me to be your wife and I can't wait to say yes! Being sealed together will the biggest blessing either of us could have ever wanted in life. I love you so very much. You're my everything!
Yours Forever {and ever},
Marlee Michelle




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Gratitude

I had an enlightening moment tonight... rather a few moments actually. I was having a bit of a rough week this past week, just a mix between stress from work and school on top of a few things that haven't gone the way I would've liked them to go, but that's life right. Just gotta roll with the punches, no matter how many or how hard those punches are. My mom and I were just talking tonight about a tour I took with my mom and brother at the jail facility my mom works at and somethings were said about my relationship status that kinda hurt and I was getting all frustrated with my whole love life situation.

I was sitting on my bed, trying to catch up my boy with my already flopped week with some unfortunate events and was definitely having a pity party for one... yeah selfish enough to keep all this misery to myself. As I was telling him about my day in church, all of a sudden I had remembered that over the past few weeks or months, I had began to think about all of the little things I was blessed with. I felt like I needed to write them out in his letter and let me tell you... I have been one reeeally ungrateful punk lately. I honestly, have no reason to complain or think how my life is so hard. The only things I have to really tackle are my wandering thoughts and how I deal with stress... bam. That's it. I have all of my limbs, I have wonderful vision. I have safe shelter, a family who loves me, supportive friends, quite a few talents, I have an education, I have an amazing and caring boy who treats me like a queen, I have an awesome dog that waits up all hours of the night until I come home and cuddles with me on the couch, I can read and write, I have a 4.0 in school....

Need I say more?! There is a scripture that says something around the lines that nothing offends God more than those who do not confess his name in all things. Definitely also includes those who are not grateful for all that the Lord sees fit to bless them with. So what if my knees belong to an 80 year old... at least I have them. So what if I have more curves than a road going down a mountain, at least I don't have medical issues that would make me a walking death trap. So what if I get annoyed at my family once in while, at least EVERY single one of them is safe and I am able to see them everyday. So what if my boyfriend is 2,000+ miles away... at least I have one (and a pretty dang good one too!) that loves me and treats me better than I could've ever imagined. There's just sooo much to be grateful for and I honestly can't find any true problem that I have that other's don't. So, Marlee, get over yourself and start embracing the blessings you do have. It could be worse... it could be raining.

Sooo... hopefully this bit of rambling made sense to you all and I'm just not putting things out in space. Maybe I am. But this was just my little piece of thoughts I had tonight that I'd thought I'd share.